Stability and Philanthropy

[Photo description: Hope, Ollie and Mario walk along a gravel road during a beautiful sunset at the Central Experimental Farm]

Stability is often underrated. Most of us crave the excitement of newness in our lives even if we don't always like the pace of change (whether too slow or too fast). Throughout the roller coaster of cancer during COVID-19, though, we've learned too well that stability is the greatest place to live. I know everyone is tired of the monotony of staying home for stability right now, but to us stability was a distant dream a year ago, and today is a blessed reality. Perspective is everything.

[Photo description: A smiling Ollie looks into the fire table as Mario shakes Jiffy Pop popcorn over the fire after dark]

Medically Ollie is still in remission (340 days today since they declared remission last June and +314 days post transplant), but we'll never be sure if that's because of the stem cell transplant or his continued use of the ALK inhibitor drug Lorlatinib or both. At the moment he remains on the drug and the plan is to keep him on it for another year until he's two years post transplant in July 2022. There are two other children on it that we're following closely (in the UK and in the US) as they are each like us - essentially guessing when to take their children off of the drug to see if after the drug and transplant they will remain cancer free. Because the drug has never been tested on children, there is no data to rely on and because it has just been approved in the US as a front line treatment for lung cancer, but not ALCL, there's no adult data that is helpful either. 

[Photo description: A smiling Ollie sits on the red sofa in his play room while holding a street sign that reads, "Skateboarding Drive"]

The one side effect that they all have is significant weight gain. In the big scheme of things for us this is okay for now because he is alive and otherwise doing well. When he was at his sickest he didn't eat anything (except being connected to IV fluids with sugar and potassium) for 17 days and was skin and bones. After that fear I'll take plump and otherwise happy and healthy any day. At some point, though, they'll all have to stop taking the drug and hope and pray that it and transplant were enough to "cure" them. Kind of glad we're not there yet. I never imagined I'd want to keep my kid on an untested drug for this long. Your whole mindset shifts when you're dealing with potentially life or death decisions.

[Photo description: Ollie relaxes on the sofa with his feet on the ottoman with his hands on Hope the dog on one side and Chewbacca the cat on the other]

The hypothyroidism that Ollie was experiencing a few months ago seems to have been corrected with the Eltroxin drug that they put him on.  He has bone density scans and a meeting with the endocrinologist in July, so we'll see how long they expect him to remain on this drug. At least he's gotten past most of the fatigue, outbursts, and increased weight gain with low appetite, so we're on the right track.

[Photo description: Ollie fell asleep in the car with his head resting on Hope who is also sleeping]

We've spent a lot of time over the past two months contributing to other awareness and fundraising efforts to help others like we've been helped. With your help over the past year, between the Ollie's Pizza from Gabriel Pizza benefiting Candlelighters Ottawa, and fundraisers we've done or contributed to for CHEO, CNIB, and Make A Wish of Eastern Ontario, we've raised more than $17,000 to help families with medical challenges like ours! I'm blown away by this and we still have more to do...

[Photo description: Ollie and Hope sit in the playroom in front of the tablet waiting for the CNIB Guide Dog Program Graduation to begin]

At the end of April 2021, Ollie and Hope graduated in the CNIB's Guide Dog Program Graduation Ceremony alongside all Guide Dog and Buddy Dog pairs from across the country. It was lovely and he was so proud to be part of it! Ollie did an interview with the Ottawa Citizen about his Hope the day before and to our great surprise it ended up on the cover of the Ottawa Citizen on April 29 and page 2 of the Ottawa Sun! Everyone at CHEO teased him about how famous he and Hope are now! 😆

[Photo description: Front page of the Ottawa Citizen print edition of Thursday, April 29, 2021 featuring Ollie and Hope and the headline, "HOPE IS WITH OLLIE"]

A few weeks ago Ollie and Abby's story was featured on the Global News' The New Reality show about COVID-19 and cancer. Ours was thankfully a positive piece despite COVID causing us to have to use Abby's half match stem cells last summer instead of the three perfect matches on the international stem cell registry. Unfortunately, so many adults with cancer have not been getting the treatments they need during COVID-19. It's important that people continue to seek medical attention for anything serious despite COVID-19. We can tell you from experience that the hospitals are being diligent about safety. We have literally lived in two hospitals and when outpatient visited two hospitals daily  throughout COVID without exposure. And that is with a kid with NO immune system for a big part of this period. 

CHEO tells us that while they normally see about 75 kids diagnosed with cancer annually, their numbers are way up at over 100 kids diagnosed in the past year. They don't have data to explain why, but I think it's likely because most of us are spending way more time with our kids during the pandemic and perhaps we're now more aware of their health or lack thereof than ever before. This at least is a positive by product of COVID as it potentially means kids being diagnosed earlier with a greater chance at beating cancer.

[Photo description: Hope sits beside Ollie while wearing a CNIB Pup Crawl Bib with "Ollie and Hope : 8306535" written on it]

Ollie and Hope also participated in the CNIB Pup Crawl to raise money to help others like him to get a Guide Dog or Buddy Dog. Our original goal was $500, as we know that we've asked a lot of people for fundraising help over the past months. Within 12 hours we had already met and exceeded that goal so we increased it. In the end we passed that goal, too and were shocked and grateful when so many generous people donated helping to raise $1,518!

[Photo description: Screen capture of web page for Team Ollie's Hope showing a photo of Hope and Ollie and $1,518 raised with a $1,000 goal.]

So now we're raising money for CHEO through the sharing of Ollie's story on the CHEO Telethon from May 24- June 6, 2021. I love how they've also highlighted the very special role that Abby played in his story. We're honoured to be representing all oncology families this year and to be profiled with 5 other families with various medical needs served daily by the incredible team at CHEO. 

I have always made donations to others' CHEO fundraising campaigns in the past. I can vividly remember hearing the telethon broadcast on the radio when Mario and I were newly dating 16 years ago and having to turn it off because the stories made my heart hurt and my eyes leak and I wanted to give them ALL of my money (not that I had much then either). I recall being horrified at all that those courageous families had to endure with their poor innocent children. And now it's our family who's endured it and survived it.

[Photo description: On Facebook Dawn shares CHEO's promotion of Ollie's CHEO telethon piece including a video with a thumbnail photo of Ollie and Abby watching a tablet together]

Honestly Ollie is here today because of the tireless efforts of everyone at CHEO. We are so fortunate that we had such excellent care right in our own city and we'll continue to need them throughout Ollie's childhood as he's monitored regularly to ensure there are no further relapses and to treat the long-term effects of his cancer like his blindness (we're seeing opthamalogy again next week), his bone density issues (he has scans and an appointment in endocrinology in July) and anything else that might come up over the next 9 years of his childhood. Although he is doing well, cancer treatment doesn't really end with remission and kids like Ollie will continue to need the resources at CHEO. And with all of the generosity that there is in this city, we still need more to meet all of the needs of the kids that CHEO serves annually.

[Photo description: Screen capture of Ollie's CHEO telethon web page]

To this end, we are also thankful to W.O. Stinson and Son Ltd. who are matching donations up to $10,000! Please give generously if you can and share with anyone who has followed Ollie's journey over the past 19 months. The telethon will also be broadcast on CTV Ottawa from 1-7 pm on Sunday, June 6th and we'll be doing a live follow-up interview following the broadcast of Ollie's story (likely between 6 pm and 7 pm). We've heard from a few of you that you've already seen the promo video or part of Ollie's story on CTV Ottawa news over the past week and made a donation, so thanks to all!

[Photo description: Abby laughing in front of her house while discovering signage that reads, "Happy 13th B-day Abby!" and balloons]

Abby's also had an eventful few weeks, having had a birthday where she officially became a teenager, getting her braces on and having her first and very coveted COVID-19 vaccine scheduled for early June. 

[Photo description: Abby smiling in the car after getting her braces on]

Mario and I are both doing well. As you read above, I've been pretty busy managing Ollie's philanthropic and awareness raising activities as well as his schooling and regular medical scheduling. Mario has also been busy with work and in evenings and weekends being Ollie's "playmate" and always working away trying to squeeze in activities from our perpetual to do list around the house. 

[Photo description: Mario and Ollie run through a blow up splash pad sprinkler in the backyard during the recent heat wave]

Often we just accept that some things won't get done as we take the time to enjoy the second chance we've been given at continuing Ollie's childhood. Because in the end nothing else matters like living does.

[Photo description: Dawn, Ollie and Mario enjoy a picnic at the Central Experimental Farm]

Hoping you and your loved ones are safe and okay and taking deep breaths to get through this home stretch. I recently learned that a childhood/high school friend Melissa got COVID and was in the hospital on a vent for a while. She's doing better, but she's the same age as I am and it sure hits home that this is serious and can affect any of us. Praying that her recovery continues and sending strength to her family. The lockdown has felt difficult for all, but there are worse things to survive and this is exactly why we've had to endure lockdown. Everyone has had to sacrifice. Trust me - you can overcome things that are way harder than you can ever imagine surviving. As things open up wherever you are, please be safe and moderate in rejoining the world. Sending you all strength for whatever comes next.

Wishes DO Come True

Over the past year we've made so many wishes...for wellness, strength, hope, prayers, understanding, stem cells and of course, an epic Wish from Make-A-Wish Eastern Ontario. 

To set the stage for Ollie's Make A Wish, we need to give some context as to how it all came together.

When we bought our house 15 years ago, it came with a weird little "accessory building" out back that was then part workshop and part really run down former mother-in-law suite. It had been built in the 1950s and looked like it hadn't been updated since the 1970s. The apartment was not only in rough shape, but also not a legal unit, so we simply used the building as garage/storage and figured we'd eventually get to renovating it and using it for something.

In 2008 when I was pregnant with Abby, we had a winter with an extraordinary amount of snow and the roof of the building caved in. The insurance company came in and put a new higher peaked roof on giving us a large attic space (which recently allowed us to finish that space for Abby's epic hang out room - see my previous blog) and insulated and drywalled the downstairs space leaving it open concept for us to decide what to do with it in future. 

The mostly finished downstairs space in 2008.

So we basically used the space to hold the too many things that one acquires prior to marriage, as one renovates or redecorates, what one finishes using with young children and doesn't know what to do with and so much extra unnecessary stuff . 

Too much stuff.

Then in 2017 we decided to apply with the City of Ottawa to get permission to build a breezeway addition between the house and this building to use it as a rec room, kids playroom (upstairs) and storage. After months of red tape, significant expenses for application, legal, architectural design and urban planning and trying to work with an impossible neighbour we'd never met a street over who opposed our project (she lived behind one of our wonderful next door neighbours), we'd spent over $20,000 and were denied. The Committee of Adjustment did affirm that we could use the accessory/secondary building for recreation process, though, just not live in it. We weren't interested in spending more money on appeals nor did we want to make it a carriage  house and rent it, so we bitterly threw in the towel and left it.

Mario joked about tunneling to it from the house, but I just put it behind me and forgot about it. It was another bitter pill to swallow a year later when the neighbour who opposed it sold her house and moved away. Sigh. Yet, it would seem that this was all part of a master plan as we'd need this space for something else eventually.

Fast forward to last fall when we got back from stem cell transplant in Toronto. We knew we'd be home a lot this year and COVID would likely continue to keep us homebound for a while. We also knew that Ollie's collection of Beyblades, Lego, Bakugans, NERF guns, Hot Wheels, etc. were everywhere thanks to the overwhelming generosity of folks who sent him so many things to keep him busy and to bring him joy when he was sick. They needed a permanent home and Ollie never did like playing in the basement, even when he could see.

So we started thinking maybe we should reclaim space and the natural way to do this was by using the back building somehow. At about the same time, Make-A-Wish (which had merged with the Children's Wish Foundation last year) sent us a message asking if Ollie might like to change his wish from a trip to Atlantis Bahamas to perhaps something that could be purchased for him as with COVID they did not anticipate being able to book trips again for a year or two. 

We talked to Ollie about other possibilities and an epic playroom emerged as the best idea. We told him that when COVID was over and it was safe to do so our family would arrange and pay to take him to Atlantis Bahamas or wherever he wanted to go at that point. He started to get excited about a playroom. To include Abby and acknowledge her incredible gift of stem cells to Ollie last year, we decided to finish the upstairs space for her, too (see my previous blog post for pics of her completed upstairs space).

All his space really needed was for us to clean it out of the extra junk we didn't need, add flooring, a fresh coat of paint and a heating source. 

 

We also decided to add a composting toilet and a DIY plumbing-free sink in a small powder room. Naturally these were bought with Ollie's insurance money to make a more comfortable space for him. The composting toilet cost $2,000(!!!) making it the most expensive seat at our house, but was way cheaper than the $30,000 actual plumbing would have and now we will have compost for our gardens in spring!

Like any kid, Ollie was more interested in the composting toilet box than anything else. He had a blast using it as a fort in the living room for weeks after.

The soon to be powder room...

So we used part of what was left of his critical illness insurance money to do his space and Abby's and put the rest into savings for him (e.g. we started a registered disability savings plan for him) to help with whatever he might need in future as he deals with the long term side effects of his cancer and stem cell transplant including his blindness.

Ollie having an epic NERF battle in the almost completed space over the Christmas holidays.

With a little help from some contractors to downsize our unneeded stuff and a general contractor to do the minor work to finish both spaces, we were ready for Make-A-Wish to help us furnish and make it epic.

The finished storage space to house the seasonal stuff we did need and kept.

Ready in January, just in time for furniture from Make-A-Wish to start arriving...thoroughly cleaned and sanitized to ensure that the touches that many contractors (who were very respectful, wore masks and were careful about their interactions with us because they knew of Ollie's medical situation) left behind would not have an impact on Ollie's physical health.

Normally Make-A-Wish buys everything, comes in, assembles and places it all for you and does a big reveal at the end like a home makeover show would! But of course, COVID changed that, too. When we talked to them about the epic play space, they apologetically told us they couldn't do their usual, so we'd have to do the work they couldn't. 

So Ollie and I decided what needed to be ordered and they sent EXACTLY what he chose. Starting with the real heavy bag for karate punching. He couldn't wait, so daddy installed that first.

Every few days something new arrived and he eagerly opened each just like it was Christmas all over again. Each brought him incredible joy. 

It was a bit like when they were smaller and we'd let them open a gift each day in the days leading up to Christmas because the grandparents sent so many things that they were overwhelming if opened all at once on Christmas Day. 

The 4 in 1 Games table was immediately enjoyed and made us take time in between assembling and building to play. 

He had been insistent that the sofa had to be a sofa bed for future sleepovers and had to be his favourite colour - red. When Make-A-Wish called to tell us that the one we picked was out of stock I said we could likely pick another colour since he couldn't really see it anyways. They quickly replied that if he asked for red, that's what he'd get. Thankfully we found another.

He tried out the sofabed part as soon as we assembled it.

Trying out the new hammock chair...

It was hard for Ollie to be patient as we assembled and built, but by trading off we were able to play with him AND get the project done. 

Taking a break from building and playing some family foosball (whomever is on Ollie's team tells him when he needs to play offense or defense and that stinker never loses a game even though he can't see).

We did have to postpone the first reveal date when we learned that the Ikea cabinets we'd ordered (those were bought by Mommy and Daddy) to house the Lego, Beyblades, etc. would not arrive on time. 

Enjoying some Friday night food delivery after the coffee table (with pop up lid) arrived...

Thankfully with some assistance from a wonderful customer service person at Ikea (thanks Fabienne if you are reading this!) we were able to locate enough of the pieces we need and make different combinations to ready the room.

The trickiest proved to be getting enough cabinets for Lego. His collection is epic. We wanted to display all of what he got while he was sick as each is like a hard won trophy and after he went blind, he worked so hard to be able to build them with us again. 

So much assembly...

 Lego cabinets going in...

Once these started going in, I began the weeks long process of collecting all of his Lego from the various cabinets and shelves around the house and placing it in cabinets. And we had to keep buying more to accommodate the entire collection with a bit of space for future, too (since he still had 8 sets he got that he hadn't built yet).

Are you starting to see why we didn't ask Make-A-Wish for actual toys? ;-)

How we did our DIY sink...an Ikea vanity with sink, an RV power pump, new gas cans (one with fresh water from the house and the other to collect grey water), and a bit of tubing.

The composting toilet, complete with a bit of Star Wars humour added as well as a pull down safety rail for Ollie.

 

Finally, March 3rd arrived and was officially Wish reveal day. Vanessa from Make-A-Wish of Eastern Ontario hung out in our driveway to represent and ensure it was exciting for him.

With presents, Gabriel Pizza delivered for lunch and cake, how could it not be a terrific event despite COVID?! 

On our way into the new space (now known as the "Clubhouse") to do the reveal via a Zoom video call so Vanessa and others from Make-A-Wish (Sharon and Isabel who helped with all of the ordering and special additions) could see it, too. Vanessa hung out in the driveway.

Showing off his new accessible TV.

Here's what they got for Ollie (thanks in large part to eQ Homes who sponsored his wish):

- Red Sofa bed

- Coffee table

- End tray tables

- Bucket Chair and ottoman

- TV with accessibility options that allow him to give his TV voice commands

- Video camera, tripod and green screen (he and Abby want to start a YouTube channel to highlight toys for blind kids)

- Hammock Chair

- 4-in-1 Games Table

- Heavy (punching) bag and accessories

- Red retro mini fridge

- Many tactile building and activity kits (e.g. STEM, gardening, etc.)

- Make-A-Wish swag (e.g. T-shirts, backpack, sunglasses, blanket, etc.)

Lego and Tom the Bear (a gift when he was in hospital) now have permanent homes.

A small bit of the Lego on display.

Pic taken day before reveal, but gives a better sense of everything together.

So many cabinets with Beyblades!

Excited to have cake - they even asked what his favourite was! 

Thrilled to be part of the Make-A-Wish family and so grateful to them, their donors, especially eQ Homes and so many others who helped us to bring this Wish to fruition for him.

Want to help us to "Wish It Forward" for another brave kid like Ollie? You can make a donation here.

Ultimately that was our version of the COVID home reno project! And by extension we gained a clean and less cluttered space in our home, space for the kids to grow into with friends after COVID and for family to enjoy when they visit and many amazing memories of focusing on something positive after so much stress during his many treatments and procedures over the past 16 months.

Math, Milestones, Planning and Playspaces

The past month has sped by! So much has happened since I last wrote!

Ollie is doing really well physically, mentally and with his online learning. He's online with his vision itinerant teacher longer now (about two hours each morning) and doing some asynchronous learning with me in the afternoons from his class' online assignments.  He's doing amazingly well in Math, which I worried would be really hard without vision, but tactiles are incredible 

tools and his vision itinerant teacher has a wealth of experience in teaching curious little boys and keeping them engaged (even online!). He's amazing now atvdoing long addition, subtraction and multiplication with his tactiles and can even do it in his head now! We were playing the Bakugan game with him on Sunday and he was easily counting up the hundreds of points in his head! Neither chemo nor radiation has affected this boy's big brain!

We're joining his online class when there are activities he can participate in easily (he loves Mondays where they do Community Circle and show and tell). He's reading more Braille and in full sentences now (we're on his fifth Braille book and each is about 30 pages!). 

As part of his vision itinerant program there is a Daily Life Skills teacher and a couple of weeks ago a handful of grade 3 boys met online to talk about making their own breakfast and how they did it. Ollie made himself toast with butter, a boiled egg (we use an electric egg steamer with him so he doesn't have to use the stove yet) and a chocolate milk. He was pretty pleased with himself and we were very proud.

Speaking of eating...since he passed his 6 months post transplant milestone and is physically doing great, he was cleared to stop the low bacteria diet that he's been on since stem cell transplant. This meant he could finally eat lunchmeat and have the Subway sub that he's been dreaming about for 7 months!

It also means a return to fresh fruits that have no peel, so berries are back in style at our house! 

On the medical side, he's been doing so well. He used his incredible experience and bravery to coach daddy through his own blood tests recently when Mario's life insurance was up for renewal and he had to submit to tests to get a better rate. Mario hates having blood taken and it's seriously like getting blood from a stone. Ollie made him drink plenty of water and was delighted that finally daddy was the one who was NPO (NPO means “nothing by mouth,” from the Latin nil per os) that day. Ollie helped him breath deep, held his hand and talked him through it. My how far we've come!

Ollie didn't have to go back to CHEO for his own bloodwork and check up for an entire month (which was something to celebrate, but also anxiety causing for mommy who remembered vividly that he had relapsed in a mere three weeks originally). We did have to go for a quick pulmonary test on February 3rd and while we knew this was an easy test, I had been feeling weepy and uneasy for days about having to go back to CHEO. It's comforting to be there once we're there, but each time the idea of going back is still stressful.

So on February 3rd we arrived in Clinic C9 and a man came to meet us and called Ollie and I by name. I didn't at first think this was strange, but a few minutes later wondered how he knew my name as I am listed by my first name in CHEO's records (Dawn is my middle name). Plus most staff at hospitals call you "mom". 

When he introduced himself as Strider and explained that we'd emailed in the past, it all became clear. Strider is a respiratory therapist at CHEO, a friend and colleague of dear friend Jamie at CHEO. She connected us when we were in Toronto the first time when Ollie was relapsing. I had asked for survivor stories and she (and so many others) delivered as Strider is a two-time childhood cancer survivor. He sent us the most beautiful survivor story and gave us such hope. And on this day when I was feeling weepy and honestly anxious about the future and the possibility of relapse or a secondary cancer, this was a Godwink to remind me that everything can be okay. Strider has lived his entire adult life cancer-free and is working at CHEO to give back to kids who are just like he was. It was such a blessing to meet him in person and know that one day Ollie can also be a healthy and kind man just like he is.

We've been helping Canadian Blood Services and our friend Steve Gleddie at the Bruce Denniston Bone Marrow Society  to promote the #Beahero campaign to encourage folks to get swabbed for the stem cell registry. 

As a result of COVID, they can't hold swabbing clinics like the one that they were going to run in Ollie's honour last March before COVID hit and we had to cancel. So there are fewer people joining the registry at a time when there are more than 800 people in Canada waiting for a match and thousands more around the world. Most importantly we need to increase the number of potential Canadian donors (especially from ethnically diverse backgrounds) so that families that don't have at least a partial match like ours did still have hope that their loved one can be saved like our Ollie. 

We now know of two beautiful souls who got on the registry because of Abby and Ollie (thanks to Cate and Bev) last year. We also directly know 5 other families whose children needed transplants over the past year and 4 of those 5 didn't have family matches, but thank God found matches on the registry. 

If you know a healthy someone between 17 and 35, please encourage them to order a free swabbing kit from Canadian Blood Services. Be a hero to someone like our Abby is. Best. Gift. Ever.

We also got some pretty exciting news last week. Ollie is getting his Buddy Dog from the Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB) on March 5th! Details will follow, but we know it's a lab and will be 2 years old on February 28th. 

We got Ollie the perfect dog toy...a NERF Dog Ball Blaster! He can't wait to introduce you to his new best friend!

Finally, today we had another medical milestone in that Ollie got his first two re-vaccinations. Over the next months he'll get them all again (as and when it is safe for him to do so). Please people, vaccinate your kids and tell your kids to vaccinate your grandkids...we're now doing it a second time because his stem cell transplant wiped out his immunities and I now believe even more in the power of medicine to keep us well and to heal us.  He was a complete champ as two lovely nurses did them simultaneously so it would only hurt once. And this after bloodwork! 

Now on to Abby! She's decided to cook us dinner one night a week. The first week was a pretty yummy taco bake. 

She's still not thrilled about online school, but is hanging in there and knows it's only a few more months.

We've also been working on "The Clubhouse" for the kids. This is a secondary building behind our home that was rebuilt in 2008 after snow caved the roof in. We've mainly used for storage and Mario's workshop, but there is a large insulated and finished space downstairs for Ollie's epic playroom (a Make A Wish of Eastern Ontario project to be revealed on March 3rd) and we decided to have the upstairs space insulated and drywalled to give Abby her own epic hang out space in recognition of the amazing thing that she did to save her brother last year. It also gives us space for the kids as they are getting older, will want friends over more when COVID is finally gone and allows us to move toys and crafts back there to recover some space in the house. 

Here was Abby's attic space before...

Used for storage of seasonal things mostly...

Thanks to some help from a contractor, our own little COVID project

took shape...

And large enough to hive off some storage space for the many seasonal things we still needed to keep after the major purge.

Out of found space, Abby's Epic Clubhouse was born...

Economically done with part of what was left from Ollie's Critical Illness Insurance money (the rest was invested for his future and in Lego and Beyblade cabinets for his space), but beautiful and she's pleased...

Now completed and even daddy likes to hang out there (partly because she has his old/never parted with papasan chair from his bachelor days)...

Everything a soon to be teenager could want...

So our hands are raw from assembling Ikea furniture, but our kiddos are healthy and happy with more excitement to come in the coming weeks. Mario has worked so hard on finishing both kids' spaces and we can't wait to see Ollie's finished with everything from Make A Wish.

As for me, I'm doing okay. I've had some really good days and a sprinkling of anxious or emotional days in between. Having the epic clubhouse project to occupy my "free time" has helped me not to overanalyze or play the "What if" game too much. I am just trying to find a balance between just dealing with today and not being afraid to plan for the future again. The clubhouse has been a good short-term project to satisfy my craving for returning to my natural planning self without being too far into the future. I'm not sure if I'll ever truly be able to go back to being my long term planning self without fear of the bumps in the road that may mess up those plans. We certainly didn't expect the last few and they've all taken way longer than expected to get over. Not sure we'll ever truly be over them. For now, I'm focusing on the short-term future and grateful that we have one with Ollie to look forward to.