Surgery, Sacrament and Celebrations

[Photo Description: Ollie's left eye is examined by Dr. Dollin at The Eye Institute at the Ottawa Hospital two days prior to surgery.]

It's been a really busy June and it's not done, yet, but we've heard from many people recently who wondered if Ollie was okay as we hadn't had a chance to update! He's doing great, but started the month hearing that his second eye surgery was finally booked for June 10th. 

[Photo Description: The whites of Ollie's left eye began looking yellow in the days just before he was scheduled to go for surgery.]

Just in time, too as his latest MRI 

 showed that the bleed around his retina was now larger and his eye had started to turn yellow and worry us.

[Photo Description: Dawn wears a KN95 mask and has her arm around Ollie who is wearing his hospital gown and a smile as they wait in isolation for his eye surgery at CHEO.]

The surgery itself lasted about 2.5 hours and was expected to be another posterior vitrectomy like the first. Unfortunately the original suspicion that Dr. O'Connor and Dr. Dollin had that it was a retina detachment was true in this eye. The damage was too much for them to be able to reattach the retina, but Dr. Dollin was able to restore the blood flow in the main blood vessel, to remove the new blood vessels that had appeared and tried to take over his eye, to remove his lens with cataracts and to ensure that the eye and it's pressure will remain normal in appearance and healthy so that he can keep it. 

[Photo description: Ollie wears an eye patch and holds Llama Llama Blue Pajamas in recovery after eye surgery at CHEO. His CHEO Buddy Steve  is beside him wearing PPE (now finishing his third year of med school when he and Ollie were matched in his first) and was actually working on 4 North on this day and able to pop down to see Ollie in recovery.]

They did have to put oil bubbles in his eye this time to ensure that the pressure would be maintained and to preserve the shape of his eye, so this will need to be removed through another medical procedure in the OR sometime in the next 6-12 months.

Ollie had done great before surgery, remaining completely calm and actually even chose to go to surgery in a wheelchair without sedation and without me! My how far he's come in his courage facing all things medical! 

[Photo description: Dawn and Ollie do a selfie in the car before leaving CHEO after his eye surgery. Ollie is wearing a patch taped over his eye.]

After he was in recovery, though, as usual he had a hard time. It seems he had inherited his daddy's difficulty coming out of the anesthesia and tends to be angry. I got there and tried to calm him, offering hugs and food, but nothing was helping. 

Thankfully his CHEO Buddy Steve (now finishing his third year in medical school) messaged me then to say he was done rounds on 4 North and he'd pop down to recovery to see Ollie if okay with us. Funny enough he's now often working on the very oncology ward where he first met Ollie in the first months of his first year of medical school. As an aside, he says Ollie really helped to prepare him to better understand what these kids go through and how to help them. 

He came and totally helped Ollie to let the anger go and get out of his funk. I was so grateful for his help and remain so impressed by his bedside manner and easy way with patients. He's currently considered specializing in either family medicine or anesthesia and he'd be amazing in either role. He's exactly what our medical system needs. The right blend of confidence, yet humble, and most importantly empathetic and kind. We cannot wait to officially be able to call him Dr. Steve (for now I tease him that he's Almost Dr. Steve).

[Photo description: Ollie has his first post-operative visit with Dr. Dollin the day after surgery.]

The next day Ollie had a quick post- operative appointment to check things out and take off his patch. It was 8:30 on a Saturday morning at the Ottawa Hospital. I know many doctors today are judged for not doing enough, but our experience has totally been that they continue to go above and beyond to help Ollie.

[Photo Description: Ollie wakes up from a nap during his recovery time at home and discovers that Chewbacca had been snuggling with him!]

Overall, his recovery had gone pretty well. He's had a few moments of pain, but mostly just discomfort. He has been resting and recuperating for two weeks and went go back to school for the last 3 days this week. 

[Photo Description: Ollie plays short stop during Beep Kickball practice.]

During his second week of recuperation he was allowed to start doing some not too strenuous activity. He had missed his first week of Beep Kickball practice the first week after surgery, so begged us to go for the second week. Beep Kickball is run by the Miracle League of Ottawa and is like soccer baseball for blind and low vision kids. Checking in with other parents who had gone the first week, they asked me the practices were pretty low key and he should be able to participate without overdoing it. He had a blast! We'll share more about this when the games begin. 

[Photo Description: Ollie wears his Heroes Circle gi and yellow belt from Kids Kicking Cancer Canada while standing on a yoga mat and facing his Senseis Lyne and Gabriella as they explain to him how the class will go. All are masked.]

Ollie also got the chance to finally attend karate class in person with Kids Kicking Cancer Canada after 21 months of online classes with them! This is possible thanks to the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation allowing KKC to use the Maplesoft-Jones Cancer Centre and all attending masking to keep our little warriors healthy. We finally got to meet some of the families in person and it made me laugh when one said, "I'm not sure how to say this, but is your Ollie THE Pizza Ollie?!" LOL 

[Photo Description: Ollie is ready to head out the door for First Communion and decides to wear Dad's fedora straw hat with his black shorts, white short-sleeve button down shirt, black bow tie with little crosses on it and his black sunglasses. He grins and gives a double thumbs up.]

Another big milestone we passed last weekend was Ollie' s First Communion! He's been sad that he hasn't gotten it yet thanks to the almost 3 year delay of cancer and was highly motivated in recent weeks to do the preparation for it. The timing was also good as we wanted our priest Monsignor Hans to say this mass before he left on sabbatical for a year. 

[Photo Description: Abby, Mario, Ollie, Monsignor Hans and Dawn stand on the front steps of the church after Ollie' s first communion. Photo credit to Nada Yakoub with gratitude.]

It only seemed fitting to have both Monsignor and Deacon Bob do this mass as both have been great faith supports to our family during cancer and stem cell transplant. It was Monsignor who gave Ollie his Annointing of the Sick the day before he started chemo and came to see us in hospital before COVID, so it seemed fitting that he help us finish this part of Ollie's faith journey, too. 

[Photo description: Ollie, Dawn, Abby and Mario sit in a pew at the front of the church during Ollie' s First Communion mass. All pews around them are empty and all are wearing masks. Photo credit to Michelle Doucet with gratitude.]

We would have loved to have had more people celebrating with us, but with COVID on the rise again we chose to do this on a Saturday night and keep things a bit quieter. We are grateful to the well-wishers who were at mass with us this weekend and all those who have prayed so hard for Ollie's wellness and strength for all of us.

Ollie was very reverent and so glad to do this. What a changed boy he is from the kid that had a hard time sitting through mass three years ago!

[Photo Description: Ollie blows out a birthday candle on his vanilla cupcake.]

Our incredible warrior hit another major milestone last week when he turned double digits! His 10th birthday was so joyous. His third birthday since diagnosis and the first where we could have a small party with some friends. A water gun fight at a local park with a few of his closest friends from school made him so happy and offered a relatively safe option despite COVID levels in the wastewater starting to increase here again. 

[Photo description: Sam helps Ollie to feel the tactile version of "Ollie' s Telescope" that she made for him. Ollie feels the beads, fuzzy Hope, and hot glue outlines of the illustrations on the front cover. Two other children's faces are hidden with emojis.]

And Samantha Smadella who wrote "Ollie's Telescope" came by on his birthday to deliver our copies and a special tactile version that she did for him so that he could experience it despite not being able to see it. It's clear to me that she's a fantastic recreation therapist because even though her course is done and the book was her final project, she spent hours customizing and laminating a special copy for him so that he could enjoy it like the other readers of his story will. You can still order copies here with all proceeds after the cost of printing going to the CHEO Foundation (now that Candlelighters Ottawa has merged with the CHEO Foundation).

[Photo Description: Ollie holds his new skateboard designed by his instructor, Jordan after having it outfitted with trucks, wheels and grip tape.]

Ollie was thrilled to receive a new  skateboard deck from his instructor, Jordan Wells at The Yard for his birthday. Jordan had designed it himself and Ollie couldn't wait to try it and begged me to take him on his birthday to get new trucks, wheels and grip tape for it thanks to birthday money received from grandparents and aunts and uncles. He chose every part based on recommended options by Jordan and the sales person at the skate shop. 

[Photo Description: Ollie sits in the store while trying on a new pair of skateboarding shoes and checking out his new board all ready to use.]

As usual Ollie shocked me with what he already knew about all of it and how logical he was about his choices. I loved that the salesperson didn't treat him like a little kid, but like an equal. He didn't have any trouble explaining to the blind skateboarding kid all of his options and letting him feel everything. He also got excited talking to Ollie about pro blind skateboarders Justin Bishop and Dan Mancina! I'm not sure which of them was more thrilled with the board when it was done! 😜

[Photo description: Ollie poses with a health class project he did recently where he had to come up with his own cereal, market it and share its nutritional information. Not surprisingly he called it, "CHEO Chews". Maybe a future fundraising idea for CHEO! LOL]

School finished this week. Ollie had a very successful grade 4 year and got caught up on most areas that he was behind in at the beginning of the year thanks to cancer and COVID. We will have some work to do in catching up in French (as did a lot of the kids who were virtual last year given the French instruction was spotty at best), but otherwise he's completely working at level. We will likely get him a French tutor to help more in the fall, but are so proud of his hard work this year. He jumped 3 grade levels in Braille alone and for a kid who started learning Braille just two years ago he's accomplished what is normally 6 years of Braille instruction in those 2 years.

[Photo Description: Abby receives her grade 8 diploma from her homeroom teacher at her graduation ceremony.]

And to end on another beautiful note, after a year that started off a bit shaky after getting back to school in person post cancer/stem cell transplant/ virtual school, Abby found her groove in these last months and finished her school year by graduating from grade 8. There was an actual grad ceremony, but they reduced the size by splitting the graduating class into three groups, minimized time indoors by not handing awards out at the ceremony and got everyone outside for drinks and visiting after. It was so sweet to see so many of her friends from St. George finally get a real graduation after being unable to finish grade 6 with an in person one as we were still in the early days of COVID with no vaccines then. 

She's off to high school this fall in a school with a special arts focus and entering the writing program. We're super proud of her and cannot wait to see how she soars there. 

We'll check in again in a few weeks as we have Ollie's second re-birthday (anniversary of stem cell transplant) coming up and we'll be taking him off of his cancer inhibitor drug since we're finally at the end of the two years.

Wishing you all a very happy Canada Day!

Vision for the Holidays and 2022

[Photo description: Ollie is dressed in a hospital gown and snuggled by Dawn as both wear masks and sit in the waiting room at CHEO's Surgical Day Unit.]

Ollie had eye surgery on his right eye at CHEO on Wednesday, December 15th. He was a bit nervous the night before and the day of, but overall in good spirits and a total trooper as we got ready and set out for CHEO that morning. 

As usual he wasn't thrilled about the waiting, but at least he's no longer on steroids like he was during cancer treatment. Then he used to rage if he waited too long for anything, especially when he was NPO (Latin for not by mouth or no eating before surgery). 

[Photo description: Ollie waits in the waiting room of the Surgical Day Unit while playing with fidget toys to pass the time.]

He was getting a bit grumpy by noon when he was in the Surgical Day Unit ready to go and just waiting for them to take him in. After getting his vitals checked and having drops put in his eyes, the nurse gave him a new owl stuffie as a reward for his patience and cooperation. 

Finally, about 20 minutes later than planned, they came to get us. On our way into the prep/recovery area, Ollie had a little bout of nerves. It was weird this time because he's never been well/strong enough to walk in instead of being wheeled in on a gurney. He got angry at me when I made him go to the bathroom (I had to remind him that if he didn't he might have an accident when he was sedated), then burst into tears. Naturally this was just as the doctors had arrived and wanted to talk to me about the plan. 

[Photo description: Ollie wears a hospital gown, hospital pants and mask while sitting in the waiting room with his white cane and new owl stuffie.]

Thankfully they were preoccupied with finding the anesthesiologist who had been delayed in her earlier surgery, so they gave us a few moments to get ourselves together and ready. As he hugged me and calmed down, Ollie was very apologetic for his outburst. I reassured him that he didn't have to apologize for feeling overwhelmed, everything was going to be okay, and surgery was going to go well. After some big hugs, Ollie was ready to go. 

To my great surprise, despite COVID-19 risks they allowed me to walk him right into the operating room. This required me to be in full PPE, but made both of us feel more comfortable. It was an OR way in the back of CHEO and the largest I had ever been in with Ollie. The anesthesiologist knew Ollie from previous surgeries and procedures and was so kind as always. Ollie being the pro he is had asked to be sedated with the gas (what a bizarre world we've lived in that my 9 year old knows the menu of sedation options). The anesthesiologist was happy to give him what he asked for and even made the gas smell like strawberries, so he was out before he counted to 20. 

They invited me to kiss his head through my mask and promised they'd take great care of him. I thanked them profusely and walked out feeling confident that they would keep him safe. Honestly this was easiest of all of the many times I've had to leave him in the hands of the amazing team at CHEO because I knew it was going to work out.

[Photo description: Dawn and Ollie take a selfie in recovery after Ollie's surgery. Ollie is wearing an eye patch and lying in a hospital bed looking tired.]

Dr. Michael Dollin (retina specialist at the Eye Institute at The Ottawa Hospital) and Dr. Jeff Mah performed his victrectomy and lasering. Surgery took about two hours, and they came down to see me in the waiting room afterwards, smiling behind their masks (you can tell). They were happy to report that surgery went as well as they could have hoped and he was doing great in recovery. They confirmed that it hadn't been a retina detachment, but indeed a vitreous detachment (as suggested in the MRI report, but could have gone either way). They were able to repair the main blood vessel attached to his retina to restore proper blood flow, clear out that pool of blood that had been obstructing the bit of peripheral vision he had before, and had put a half gas bubble and a couple of stitches in his eye to hold everything in place. Both will dissolve as he heals.

[Photo description: Ollie feeds himself chicken noodle soup with rice at home.]

Unfortunately, they reported that he did have the beginnings of cataracts in his lens (very common in cancer patients after chemo), so they decided to remove it because it was not usable for him that way anyways and healthier to remove it.  The lens is used for focusing (just like the lens of a camera) and because his optic nerves are already severely damaged from the lymphoma, even with a healthy lens he wouldn't be able to see details right now. Our goal is to keep his eyes healthy so that as science evolves and it is possible to fix his optic nerves, he may have the possibility of more sight one day if he wants it. Dr. Dollin explained that it is already possible to have an intraocular lens (IOL) implanted and as science advances and his optic nerves can be fixed, they could add an IOL in future to enable him to see again. Overall I was so grateful that everything went well and glad I'd listened to my mother's intuition again and pushed for the surgery because it was successful.

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa with a table and a Beyblade stadium in front of him as he prepares to rip his Keyboard and Mario's hands can be seen reading to rip.]

Ollie was groggy in recovery, but felt okay otherwise. He was thirsty and eager to leave and go to McDonald's since he hadn't eaten all day. Given he was still tired, he rode out in a wheelchair and Mario picked us up. By the time we got home and he gobbled down McDonald's, he was almost back to normal. He is absolutely incredible.

When he discovered he was well enough to Beyblade, all was right in his world again! 😜  He honestly he's had no pain, just some minor itchiness as the sedation came out. He has two eye drops to take four times daily for the next few weeks until the eye is healed.

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa wearing a t-shirt shirt and pajama pants with Santa hats beside Hope.]

He slept well and got up early. About mid-morning we went to The Eye Institute for a post-operative check-up. Everything looked great, there was minimal bleeding from the surgery and Ollie felt good. He was able to see light already and the doctor expects it will get even better as it heals. He'll continue to be legally blind, but it looks likely that he'll recover some peripheral vision to see shapes and shadows. We were told to just have him wear the eye shield to sleep and by day only wear the patch if he felt he needed to. 

[Photo description: Dr. Mah examines Ollie's eye in a darkened room at The Eye Institute the day after surgery.]

The hardest part about his recovery was just keeping him calm and inactive. Thankfully he didn't need to have a full gas or oil bubble in his eye and have to stay face down for days, so that was a relief. We'd read about how this surgery could require complete bed rest and doing nothing for up to 4 weeks! Naturally Ollie  continued to be full of energy after surgery, so there was a lot of me reminding him not to bend, bounce, run, yell, or get angry. We needed to keep his pressure down to minimize any bleeding. The week went fairly well.

[Photo description: Ollie clowns around while leaving The Eye Institute, holding his cane like a sword and wearing a black eye patch like a pirate.]

Six days later we went back to The Eye Institute and Dr. Dollin said everything looked great, his pressure was normal and declared him already able to get back to "normal daily activities". I explained to Ollie that this still meant he needed to take it somewhat easy and there would be no skateboarding or sports yet. Dr. Dollin gave us instructions to taper his drops over the coming weeks and said he'd see us in 3-4 weeks when we could talk about a plan to do the second eye since the first went so well! 

Victory! I feel vindicated after being the pushy mama for the past 9 months since I noticed Ollie struggling in the darkness and insisted we needed to fix this if we could. I am grateful as always to Ollie's brilliant, yet humble doctors who treat me like a partner in his care and listen, even when they may at first think I am the overreacting mama. 

[Photo description: Ollie and Mario stand in front of the Christmas tree wearing matching work overalls, t-shirt shirts and tuques. They are smiling while Mario has his arm around Ollie.]

With COVID numbers exploding everywhere (it's estimated that numbers are at least three times higher than reported since so many people are isolating and there aren't enough COVID test), we're still trying to keep Ollie from getting it, even if Omicron seems to be a milder form. The thing is he only had one vaccine so far and we don't know what his short- or long-term effects might be if he got it as a stem cell transplant recipient. Sadly we know many families now who have gotten it here and in Toronto and are facing Christmas in isolation. We feel for these families and hope they'll weather it easily and quickly. A Christmas in isolation certainly is not the worst that can happen to a family, as we know too well. This is our third in isolation and we'd do as many as needed to keep our family safe and well. 

[Photo description: The package received from Santa through Canada Post elves. The envelope is shown at the top, Abby's printed letter on Christmas paper is on the left and Ollie's Braille letter is on the right.]

We'll end on a happy note because despite everything, we are here, happy, healthy and grateful. 

Ollie asked me to write down his Christmas Letter to Santa as he dictated it months ago. In it he asked for not only a toy for himself, but also that Santa bring something special for his sister Abby who had given him stem cells so he could live (my eyes were leaking as I wrote it). Before sending it off via Canada Post, I added a note that mommy had written what he dictated because he went blind during cancer treatment, but was doing great thanks to his stem cell transplant.

This week a package arrived from Santa addressed to Ollie & Abby. There was a lovely letter for Abby (even though she never wrote him one) that noted that she was a true hero because of  her "overachieving stem cells". It also mentioned Ollie's CNIB Buddy Dog Hope! Clearly the Canada Post volunteer elves did their research and knew our story! 

In addition and inspiring my tears again was a letter in Braille for Ollie. He was so excited to receive it written in a way that he could read it! Many thanks to Canada Post and their amazing volunteer elves helping Santa to reach ALL kids! 

To close, please minimize or cancel your gatherings to reduce your risk of COVID. I know it's tempting to see everyone you planned to, but we'll all pay for it in early January when stats are even worse. Even if we don't end up in lockdown again, we'll likely end up home with online learning again if we can't control cases over the next 10 days. Trust me, when you're together with your immediate family or just a few trusted loved ones, the holidays can still be beautiful. Wishing you all safe and happy holidays.  Praying that 2022 is a better year for everyone!

Math, Milestones, Planning and Playspaces

The past month has sped by! So much has happened since I last wrote!

Ollie is doing really well physically, mentally and with his online learning. He's online with his vision itinerant teacher longer now (about two hours each morning) and doing some asynchronous learning with me in the afternoons from his class' online assignments.  He's doing amazingly well in Math, which I worried would be really hard without vision, but tactiles are incredible 

tools and his vision itinerant teacher has a wealth of experience in teaching curious little boys and keeping them engaged (even online!). He's amazing now atvdoing long addition, subtraction and multiplication with his tactiles and can even do it in his head now! We were playing the Bakugan game with him on Sunday and he was easily counting up the hundreds of points in his head! Neither chemo nor radiation has affected this boy's big brain!

We're joining his online class when there are activities he can participate in easily (he loves Mondays where they do Community Circle and show and tell). He's reading more Braille and in full sentences now (we're on his fifth Braille book and each is about 30 pages!). 

As part of his vision itinerant program there is a Daily Life Skills teacher and a couple of weeks ago a handful of grade 3 boys met online to talk about making their own breakfast and how they did it. Ollie made himself toast with butter, a boiled egg (we use an electric egg steamer with him so he doesn't have to use the stove yet) and a chocolate milk. He was pretty pleased with himself and we were very proud.

Speaking of eating...since he passed his 6 months post transplant milestone and is physically doing great, he was cleared to stop the low bacteria diet that he's been on since stem cell transplant. This meant he could finally eat lunchmeat and have the Subway sub that he's been dreaming about for 7 months!

It also means a return to fresh fruits that have no peel, so berries are back in style at our house! 

On the medical side, he's been doing so well. He used his incredible experience and bravery to coach daddy through his own blood tests recently when Mario's life insurance was up for renewal and he had to submit to tests to get a better rate. Mario hates having blood taken and it's seriously like getting blood from a stone. Ollie made him drink plenty of water and was delighted that finally daddy was the one who was NPO (NPO means “nothing by mouth,” from the Latin nil per os) that day. Ollie helped him breath deep, held his hand and talked him through it. My how far we've come!

Ollie didn't have to go back to CHEO for his own bloodwork and check up for an entire month (which was something to celebrate, but also anxiety causing for mommy who remembered vividly that he had relapsed in a mere three weeks originally). We did have to go for a quick pulmonary test on February 3rd and while we knew this was an easy test, I had been feeling weepy and uneasy for days about having to go back to CHEO. It's comforting to be there once we're there, but each time the idea of going back is still stressful.

So on February 3rd we arrived in Clinic C9 and a man came to meet us and called Ollie and I by name. I didn't at first think this was strange, but a few minutes later wondered how he knew my name as I am listed by my first name in CHEO's records (Dawn is my middle name). Plus most staff at hospitals call you "mom". 

When he introduced himself as Strider and explained that we'd emailed in the past, it all became clear. Strider is a respiratory therapist at CHEO, a friend and colleague of dear friend Jamie at CHEO. She connected us when we were in Toronto the first time when Ollie was relapsing. I had asked for survivor stories and she (and so many others) delivered as Strider is a two-time childhood cancer survivor. He sent us the most beautiful survivor story and gave us such hope. And on this day when I was feeling weepy and honestly anxious about the future and the possibility of relapse or a secondary cancer, this was a Godwink to remind me that everything can be okay. Strider has lived his entire adult life cancer-free and is working at CHEO to give back to kids who are just like he was. It was such a blessing to meet him in person and know that one day Ollie can also be a healthy and kind man just like he is.

We've been helping Canadian Blood Services and our friend Steve Gleddie at the Bruce Denniston Bone Marrow Society  to promote the #Beahero campaign to encourage folks to get swabbed for the stem cell registry. 

As a result of COVID, they can't hold swabbing clinics like the one that they were going to run in Ollie's honour last March before COVID hit and we had to cancel. So there are fewer people joining the registry at a time when there are more than 800 people in Canada waiting for a match and thousands more around the world. Most importantly we need to increase the number of potential Canadian donors (especially from ethnically diverse backgrounds) so that families that don't have at least a partial match like ours did still have hope that their loved one can be saved like our Ollie. 

We now know of two beautiful souls who got on the registry because of Abby and Ollie (thanks to Cate and Bev) last year. We also directly know 5 other families whose children needed transplants over the past year and 4 of those 5 didn't have family matches, but thank God found matches on the registry. 

If you know a healthy someone between 17 and 35, please encourage them to order a free swabbing kit from Canadian Blood Services. Be a hero to someone like our Abby is. Best. Gift. Ever.

We also got some pretty exciting news last week. Ollie is getting his Buddy Dog from the Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB) on March 5th! Details will follow, but we know it's a lab and will be 2 years old on February 28th. 

We got Ollie the perfect dog toy...a NERF Dog Ball Blaster! He can't wait to introduce you to his new best friend!

Finally, today we had another medical milestone in that Ollie got his first two re-vaccinations. Over the next months he'll get them all again (as and when it is safe for him to do so). Please people, vaccinate your kids and tell your kids to vaccinate your grandkids...we're now doing it a second time because his stem cell transplant wiped out his immunities and I now believe even more in the power of medicine to keep us well and to heal us.  He was a complete champ as two lovely nurses did them simultaneously so it would only hurt once. And this after bloodwork! 

Now on to Abby! She's decided to cook us dinner one night a week. The first week was a pretty yummy taco bake. 

She's still not thrilled about online school, but is hanging in there and knows it's only a few more months.

We've also been working on "The Clubhouse" for the kids. This is a secondary building behind our home that was rebuilt in 2008 after snow caved the roof in. We've mainly used for storage and Mario's workshop, but there is a large insulated and finished space downstairs for Ollie's epic playroom (a Make A Wish of Eastern Ontario project to be revealed on March 3rd) and we decided to have the upstairs space insulated and drywalled to give Abby her own epic hang out space in recognition of the amazing thing that she did to save her brother last year. It also gives us space for the kids as they are getting older, will want friends over more when COVID is finally gone and allows us to move toys and crafts back there to recover some space in the house. 

Here was Abby's attic space before...

Used for storage of seasonal things mostly...

Thanks to some help from a contractor, our own little COVID project

took shape...

And large enough to hive off some storage space for the many seasonal things we still needed to keep after the major purge.

Out of found space, Abby's Epic Clubhouse was born...

Economically done with part of what was left from Ollie's Critical Illness Insurance money (the rest was invested for his future and in Lego and Beyblade cabinets for his space), but beautiful and she's pleased...

Now completed and even daddy likes to hang out there (partly because she has his old/never parted with papasan chair from his bachelor days)...

Everything a soon to be teenager could want...

So our hands are raw from assembling Ikea furniture, but our kiddos are healthy and happy with more excitement to come in the coming weeks. Mario has worked so hard on finishing both kids' spaces and we can't wait to see Ollie's finished with everything from Make A Wish.

As for me, I'm doing okay. I've had some really good days and a sprinkling of anxious or emotional days in between. Having the epic clubhouse project to occupy my "free time" has helped me not to overanalyze or play the "What if" game too much. I am just trying to find a balance between just dealing with today and not being afraid to plan for the future again. The clubhouse has been a good short-term project to satisfy my craving for returning to my natural planning self without being too far into the future. I'm not sure if I'll ever truly be able to go back to being my long term planning self without fear of the bumps in the road that may mess up those plans. We certainly didn't expect the last few and they've all taken way longer than expected to get over. Not sure we'll ever truly be over them. For now, I'm focusing on the short-term future and grateful that we have one with Ollie to look forward to.