Scan and Biopsy Results

[Photo description: Ollie found the free popsicle stash in CHEO's Medical Day Unit (MDU) oncology clinic while waiting between scans and cheekily kept asking if his tongue was blue!]

It was a really long 3 weeks waiting for biopsy results, but in our usual way we found that keeping busy and letting go while letting God worry about it all is best. Thankfully we had plenty of distractions to keep us busy.

[Photo Description: Four of the senior grade classes and some of their parents attend the first in-person school mass at St. George's Parish since the pandemic began in March 2020.]

We've all prayed an awful lot the past few weeks and have heard from so many of you saying that you were praying with and for us, too. It means the world to us to have our incredible army still here sending us light and faith. As it happens we also recently had our first opportunity to actually set foot in our parish for the first time since Abby's confirmation in February 2020. 

Just after Easter and the week after his biopsy, we got a message at home saying that Ollie's was one of four classes attending mass in person and parents of those classes were welcome to come or watch online with the rest of the school. Given Ollie's osteoporosis in his back and hip makes it too hard for him to walk all the way (it's 1.4 km each way from the school and back), his Vision Itinerant teacher had me drive him and met us there. Most students were still masked, all teachers were still masked and Ollie never takes his off, so we felt relatively comfortable doing this. 

[Photo Description: Ollie is in the grey jacket in front of his Vision Itinerant teacher and sitting with his classmates and dear friends during his school's mass.] 

It was both a joy and pretty emotional for me to be back given the last time he had just relapsed in his brain and our journey stretched further ahead of us than behind us like now. Ollie was very reverent and asked to stay and pray a bit extra at the end. I knew he was praying that he was still well and for so many of our CHEO friends who are still fighting. When I drove him back to school he seemed upset and upon further discussion I learned that he'd felt left out that he couldn't yet get communion like his friends. He did his Reconciliation recently, but we're still prepping for First Communion and hope to schedule it before the end of the school year. Yet another reminder of how much he's missed these past 2.5 years, but we're almost caught up!

[Photo Description: Ollie has a blast using Nurse Julie's scanner during his routine CHEO oncology appointment for bloodwork and check up. Julie is incredible with the kids and was wearing a Batman shirt with cape. She laughingly said it was great to work in a place where any day is dress up day!]

We had his routine visit with CHEO Oncology the following Monday. Bloodwork looked good other than slightly higher levels for his liver function (not super concerning and likely attributable to a change in the disagree of his Lorlatinib to 75 mg a few weeks before) and Dr. Abbott looked at the remaining bumps and the stitches from his biopsy and commented that she could see why I had been concerned and felt it was good that we biopsied. She said she would push for results sooner than the 2-3 weeks dermatology had quoted, but knew that all departments across hospital were short-staffed due to COVID.

[Photo Description: Dawn holds up her favourite snacks after donating blood at Canadian Blood Services recently.]

Later that week I went with my "blood buddy" Marie-France to make my 9th blood donation at Canadian Blood Services. It is our ritual now that every 84 days we give blood in Ollie's honour to pay it forward to other families trying to survive what we have. Each and every time I feel grateful to every single selfless person who gave to save my child and know that mine is saving someone's child, too. In just a few weeks I'll pass two milestones...my tenth donation and two solid years of donating every time I have been able (my hemoglobin was too low one time, but otherwise I have given every 84 days). I started when we were waiting for Ollie to get back into remission and I knew that the pandemic was causing dangerously low levels of donations. They told me before his transplant that they couldn't guarantee that there would be blood available if he needed it and I told them just to hook me up and give all of mine to him. I knew they wouldn't do that for real, so I decided to start getting it into the blood bank myself and to try to get more people to help me. 

[Photo Description: A screen capture of Dawn's GiveBlood App showing that so far 16 donations have been made by members of the "Donate for Ollie & Abby" team.]

Given so many people in this province have been sick with COVID in recent months and not donating, there is once again a 25% shortage in the reserve of blood. If you are able or have never tried it but are willing, I encourage you to donate. It's so easy, takes less than an hour and honestly there are so many like Ollie whose lives depend on it being there when they need it. You can even join our team, "Donate for Ollie and Abby" through the "Partners" section of the Give Blood app or when you are online scheduling your donation. 

[Photo description: Ollie washes the van using a power sprayer.]

Ollie enjoyed the recent super warm weather by helping mama wash the van at a DIY car wash. He'd never done it sighted before he went blind and was so excited to hold the pressure washer and feel its power. The entire time he yelled, "Woohoo!" and laughed his head off. Worst actual wash van ever had, but best time doing it!

[Photo Description: Ollie sits on the deck at a table playing Tech Deck finger skateboarding.]

He's also gotten out more with the nice weather, but we are always careful to diligently use sunscreen, have him wear a hat and sit in the shade whenever possible as having had chemo, radiation and a transplant he is more susceptible to getting skin cancer and sadly he also has a Vedic pre-disposition to it as it runs in my family, too. In fact recently I had a sun spot removed by a GP Specialist in Dermatology just in case. After all of this you are so much more aware of every little unusual mark on your body and want to be diligent to get it checked early. 

[Photo Description: Abby's birthday donuts from Suzy Q's that read Happy Birthday.]

Abby's 14th birthday happened recently. Now that she is older they don't really do "parties", but simply hang out, marking the day with simple-gifts and lots of candy it seems. She was happy with that, so while I mourn the loss of her last real years of kid parties, she had a lovely day and was satisfied. 

[Photo description: Abby and Dawn having pedicures at a local spa for Mother's Day/Abby's birthday.]

Abby's birthday fell on Mother's Day this year as it often does, so she and I went for mother daughter pedicures to mark the social day for both of us.

[Photo Description: At CHEO on scans day Ollie holds a cup of orange flavored contrast with a straw in it as he sticks out his tongue making a grossed out face.]

Ollie's scans went well, but it was a long day at CHEO from 9 am arrival to begin driving the contrast and appointments all day until 5 pm. Fighting cancer even when in remission is definitely way harder than any job I've ever done. 

[Photo Description: Ollie spouses his eyes and braces for the buses to remove the first stitches from his shoulder where the biopsies were.]

The hardest part of the day for him ended up being the removal of his biopsy stitches. I had asked at the last minute if someone in the Medical Day Unit (MDU oncology clinic) could possible remove them as they were really bugging him and we didn't have an appointment to see dermatology to remove them until the following week which would be four weeks with them in and they should have been removed after two. Apparently they are using non-dissolving stitches due to supply issues, so one more side effect of COVID and further strain on our hardworking nurses. Kind nurses in the dialysis unit attached to MDU made time to do this for him. Unfortunately it was very stressful and apparently painful for him as the stitches were pretty entrenched by then. With lots of Kids Kicking Cancer power breathing and mama coaching him, he got through it, but there were a lot of tears from a kid who's pretty tough. 

[Photo Description: Ollie lying on the CT bed with his arms reading on a wedge above his head and his hands holding a small stuffed koala bear given to him during treatment by his friends Henry and Dylan. The IV with a coiled cord to the contrast to be injected is in his right arm.]

Although he doesn't like the contrast he's now a complete pro at both drinking the contrast and the injected kind, so had no problem with the insertion of his IV nor drinking a cup of contrast every 30 minutes for 3 hours! 

[Photo Description: Ollie poses with Quickly Koala  while waiting for his next scans in Nuclear Imaging at CHEO. His right arm is covered to protect his IV.]

Before scans and while drinking contrast we had scheduled an in person visit with his child psychologist in MDU and it was a pleasure to finally meet her in person after 10 months of seeing her exclusively online. 

The rest of the time we hung out in MDU's playroom doing crafts with wicki sticks and visiting with MDU staff who happened by. One child life specialist came over to say help and reminded us that she had been a student doing a placement at CHEO in oncology when Ollie was first diagnosed and now works there! She was so pleased to see that he was doing well. Unbelievable that it's now been 2 and a half years since this all began! 

[Photo description: Ollie getting ready to do a drop in at The Yard on his skateboard while instructor Jordan holds his hands until he is ready.]

Ollie missed one week or skateboarding due to the biopsy, but was insistent he was ready to go back the second week. He's progressed so much this year that it's amazing. To see some videos, go check out his Instagram account (cnib_ollies_hope)! Also our episode of AMI-TV's "We Are One" telling Ollie's story and how we all adapted to his blindness airs June 2nd at 8:30 pm. You'll see Ollie starting his skateboarding last fall and be able to compare how he's progressed! Here is the trailer. 

[Photo description: Hope sits on the kitchen wearing her and Ollie's CNIB Pup Crawl bib. Our new LG  SMART stove that can be voice activated and run from an accessible SMART phone so that Ollie can use it in future sits behind her.]

Ollie and Hope are also participating in the CNIB Pup Crawl again this year in memory of his friend Mason's Buddy Dog Queenie who became ill this year and had to unfortunately cross the rainbow bridge long before her time. 

In other developments, our old stove died and was going to cost almost as much as a new one to repair, so we had to get a new one. This is also part of Ollie's story now because we took the opportunity to research and buy a me LG SMART range. This is so that in future as Ollie agrees he will be able to use the active himself because the oven is voice activated with Google Home or Amazon Alexa and you can run it from your SMART phone which one day he'll also have. Since a stove lasts 10-15 years it made sense for us to do this for him to ensure accessibility. Just one more example of what we are learning about how to help him have an accessible life.

[Photo description: Cover of the children's book, "Ollie's Telescope" written by Samantha Smadella and illustrated by Kaitlyn Blanchard, showing a drawing of a bald Ollie standing on a black planet with a black dog beside him looking out into a multicolored universe with many stars and other planets.]

In other exciting news, two sweet Algonquin College Therapeutic Recreation students have written a book based on Ollie's story with cameos of other actual CHEO oncology patients, too. It was their end of the year project and they decided to self publish the book and give all proceeds to Candlighters Childhood Cancer Support Programs. You can pre-order yours here on Sam's Therapeutic Recreation website! 

The story is about Ollie who loves astronomy (creative license taken here so the story arc works better), gets cancer and loses his vision, learns through a therapeutic recreation specialist in hospital that he can still enjoy stars because each has a unique sound, then meets another boy at hospital who used to love skateboarding, but is now wheelchair bound because of his cancer. The boys trade telescope for skateboard so each can learn a new passion that they can still enjoy thanks to accessibility options. Hope makes a cameo in the book (and is on the cover), as does a brave CHEO kid named Sophia who is now a star in the heavens. This book is so positive and deals with cancer effects and death in the most beautiful ways. We are grateful to Sam (whom we met through the Snow Angels for CHEO Campaign this year) and Kaitlyn for their interest in Ollie's story, for making the kids in the story the brave, unstoppable heroes that they really are and for their generosity in donating all proceeds to help other kids like them who are still fighting. 

[Photo description: Ollie celebrates clear scans by viewing out a candle in a brownie.]

Two days after Ollie's scans our amazing oncologist Dr. Lesleigh Abbott called me to report on the scans. I was in the car running errands and as I held my breath she began with, "He's stable with no evidence of disease." Huge breath released. She's so used to this that she even waited for me to breathe before continuing. How difficult her job is when she has to deliver the bad news! I've been there with her and was so grateful for her compassion then, too. 

She also configured that she'd talked to dermatology and pathology about the biopsy results and they were certain that it was NOT any form of cancer or infectious disease. She did say they were still running a few tests to see if they could pinpoint what the spots actually are and they would follow up with us.

She then explained that what minor change there was in his scans just confirmed that they are now identifying his hip deterioration as Avascular Necrosis (AVN), which means that bone tissue is dying due to lack of blood flow. There are various treatments for this and it's not much worse, but we'll know more when we see the bone specialist in June. Also, they can see that his left eye that is still awaiting surgery thanks to the COVID backlog is experiencing more bleeding. So we've sent that off to his opthamalogist and I verified this week that it's been sent to his Retina specialist and next week I begin being more of the "squeaky wheel" to push for the surgery like I did before Christmas for the first. Otherwise all stable in his scans. Praise God for prayers answers once again and our incredible gratitude to all of you who sent us prayers and positivity! We are infinitely blessed.

[Photo description: Ollie lies on the bed of the bone density scanner at CHEO.]

Yesterday we were back at CHEO for bone density scans and xrays for the bone specialist and endocrinologist to take a closer look at in the coming weeks. 

We also had an appointment with Dermatology to follow up on their biopsy findings. They are fairly certain that the spots are leiomyoma.

"A leiomyoma, also known as a fibroid, is a benign smooth muscle tumor that very rarely becomes cancer (0.1%)."

They can be found in various places inside the body, but also on skin. They can be itchy and painful or not (his are not). If not itchy or painful they suggest not taking medication and just monitoring as it can lead to kidney disease. 

There is the genetic kind and random kind (just like cancer) and they'll do a blood test to determine if he had the genetic kind or not. They say it will be monitored through our oncology team from now on. They did say that they've checked all of the meds and treatments in his chart against it to see if there are any known causes, but came up with nothing. I inquired if there might be a correlation between it and his thinning skin in those areas thanks to prolonged use of Dexamethasone because of his relapses. They said they would check.

So just one more thing to monitor. Maybe related to the cancer and maybe not. Grateful it's not something worse, but sure wish results were always more definitive. 

Overall our results are great so we are thrilled and grateful and looking forward to the next steps. We'll share info from the bone specialist next month and tell you how we plan to celebrate his second re-birthday/anniversary of his transplant/second hero day for Abby. Until then, count your blessings, donate blood if you can and be well!

Transplant Anniversary Highs and Lows

Photo description: Abby and Ollie stand under a marquee sign pointing up at the Gladstone Theatre that reads, "Happy 1st Birthday Post Stem Cell Transplant Ollie! Happy Hero Day Abby!"

On July 20, 2021, we celebrated Ollie's re-birthday/ one year anniversary of stem cell transplant and Abby's Hero Day (part 2 as we celebrated the one year anniversary of her actual stem cell donation back in March as part 1 given the relapse that Ollie had in between her donation and actually getting the transplant in 2020). 

It was a long anticipated day by Ollie and I and one that Mario and Abby preferred to mark more quietly. It seems as we go forward, Mario and Abby want to get back to "normal" (whatever that is - especially in the era of COVID-19), while Ollie and I are so irrevocably altered by it all that we can no longer just go back to who we were before. Perhaps this is because it's Ollie and I who were the every day participants in cancer treatment and stem cell transplant and neither of us got to live in our regular daily life over the past two years. Whereas Mario and Abby still went to work and school (albeit online since March 2020) and carried on with their usual day to day activities most days. Obviously both have been affected by everything, but given Abby is very much like her daddy in some ways, both appear to be stoic, yet have big emotions brewing just beneath the surface.

Abby did let me rent the marquee at the Gladstone Theatre (a great way to mark the special  occasion and to help out a local theatre company that has struggled like most during COVID) and agreed to pose for a photo with Ollie to help us promote our blood donation clinic that week, but felt that was enough for her.

 Photo description: A masked Ollie pushes the cart at Toys R Us with new Beyblade sets. 

Earlier that week Ollie had his last monthly check up and bloodwork at the CHEO Medical Day Unit (MDU) post transplant clinic. The doctor confirmed that all is well, he could stop taking the anti-viral he's been on for a year and is cleared to go back to school if COVID numbers stay low. He still cannot have the vaccines for chicken pox or measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) because they are live vaccines and he cannot have live vaccines while he remains on the Lorlatinib ALK-Inhibitor drug. So he has a medical exemption for those until he finishes his drug and if he should be exposed to any of these, there is a treatment plan if we act fast enough. Honestly it's all stressful, but many cancer kids faced same pre-COVID. And he desperately wants to go back to school and be normal. 

I asked about the protocol for fever going forward and we're now done having to immediately go to hospital for fever! So normal parenting of a kid with run of the mill day to day  illness now. It's mind blowing that one day we need to go to ER for any fever or sign of even a cold and and the next we don't. Of course there's also COVID to worry about and there is heightened risk for stem cell transplant recipients, so I was clearly still uncertain. Dr. Abbott reminded me that the team is still there for us and if we have any concerns we can call or email anytime. From this point forward he'll have checkups and bloodwork every 3 months, but does have certain other appointments in between. 

As a celebration Ollie asked me if we could do something like go to Toys R Us. I think he meant for curbside pickup, but given it was a Monday afternoon and not likely to be busy, I took him inside to pick his own special prizes for this milestone. This was his first time in a retail store in 20 months and he was almost vibrating with the thrill of it. Funny because pre-cancer he hated shopping with me. He touched nothing before I wiped it down and we stayed far away from the free other shoppers just in case, but it was enough normal for him.

Photo description: Dawn sits in a lounge chair connected to a machine while she donates blood at Canadian Blood Services on July 20, 2020 in honour of Ollie one year anniversary of his stem cell transplant and Abby's Hero Day.

Ollie didn't want to do anything different during the day, but had hoped to have some family friends over for cake on the deck. Unfortunately rainy weather put a damper on those plans, so we celebrated with just us four the night of the anniversary with Ollie's Pizzas from Gabriel Pizza and cupcakes and later in the week had cake with some friends, too. Naturally he got the latest Beyblades Stadium set as a re-birthday present! 

The actual day itself was quite emotional for me. It's taken me these last few weeks to unpack all that I have been feeling recently, hence the delay in writing this piece which I started, but needed to leave because I didn't know what to write to explain it. The fear and the relief that I felt on that day last year was not altogether different than what I felt on the same day this year. More relief and less fear this year, but always the underlying worry of what might be next for our incredible boy to face. 

I did a pre-recorded interview with Alan Neal from CBC Radio's All in a Day and Jan Grant from Canadian Blood Services (who has been amazingly supportive of our donor clinic and with whom I have a lot in common). Even doing the interview was more emotional for me than usual. As it happens we'd booked the donor clinic months ago, but suddenly the need for blood and blood products has risen dramatically as non-emergency surgeries and such have been re-started post lockdowns. So it was timely to be doing this and I found myself remembering being in the phone with the transplant doctors in March 2020 as COVID began and them telling me they weren't sure that there would even be enough blood available if Ollie needed it. To which I replied that he was the same blood type as I was and they could just hook me up and give every drop of my blood to my son to save him. The things you remember sometimes are unbelievable.

I had booked to donate blood that day at 5 pm with a friend, which is why I had to pre-record the interview. The interview aired as I was driving to make my donation and so many people in the clinic told me they heard it on the way over, too and it made them feel great to be donating at that time for people like Ollie. As it turned out a handful of my friends who had joined our team were there at the same time donating. I was super touched by their generosity and so thrilled to see Marie- France, Connie, Jenn and Jamie there! 

Photo description: Ollie wears a Canadian Blood Services hat and sunglasses while holding a Canadian Blood Services/Hockey Gives Blood mini hockey stick and puck on his one year anniversary of his stem cell transplant.

The staff at Canadian Blood Services were wonderful and sent me home with a big bag of treats and Canadian Blood Services merchandise for Ollie and Abby.

Since then I've had messages from a bunch of folks saying they donated in Ollie and Abby's honour recently and a few of them were even first time donors! My friend Jenn made her first allowable donation 5 years post breast cancer for Ollie! These were all high points of the emotional roller coaster over the past few weeks. I have the best people in my life!

Photo description: Ollie eats a piece of his #OlliesPizza from Gabriel Pizza to celebrate his transplant anniversary.

My emotions were also yo-yo-ing a lot over the past few weeks as I attended the online funeral of an old friend's husband two days before our rampant anniversary. My dear friend had been one of the first to reach out to me when we shared the news that Ollie had been diagnosed. I've known her since high school and she, her husband and myself were all in Ottawa for university. Her husband was battling cancer and had been for a few years by the time Ollie started his journey. She had a lot of advice to survive it all and throughout the past two years we've been in touch to update each other on significant developments. She'd told me at the beginning of the month that he was palliative. They have two children close in age to Abby. That triggered my sorrow. 

It's not that I'm close to her husband - I actually haven't seen him since university. It's how cancer robs a family. How every member suffers and is deprived of their joy for so long. How those kids had to watch their dad deteriorate and lose him. How my dear friend lost her partner (first emotionally/mentally due to the stress of it all and then physically, too) and spent almost 5 years of her life trying to save her family.

Photo description: Ollie smiles and gives a thumbs up white sitting at the table. A vanilla cupcake with sprinkles and a lit candle sits in front of him to celebrate his transplant anniversary.

Then the week after Ollie's anniversary, I heard from a friend who used to take care of my grandma when she lived at a retirement home. She told me she was looking at photos of that time and found some of Grandma that she thought I'd like. Through the course of our chat, it came out that she was going through the old photos for the mother of her former colleague and our mutual friend who had passed away suddenly of cancer in February. 

This woman was among the kindest people I knew. We became good friends over the years since she took care of my Grandma. She was at my Grandma's funeral and hugged me so tight and told me so many beautiful stories about her and how much she loved her. When she found out that Ollie was sick she sent me beautiful messages of encouragement and told me she knew my Grandma was in heaven lobbying God to let me keep my boy and how proud she'd be of me for the mother I was through such difficulty. She sent a superhero package with gifts to my kids last year just before transplant. 

I hadn't heard from her since late fall, but hadn't thought anything about it because many people who had been following us online grew quieter as things became more stable for us over the past year. I was honestly gutted to hear that she'd been diagnosed on Christmas Eve with ovarian cancer and passed away 7 weeks later. Few people knew she was ill. When I heard the news all these months later I was devastated. I was sorrowful and angry while begging God to help me to understand why innocent and kind people must suffer this way. Why do families have to go through this?!

Photo description: Ollie sits at the table with Mario after blowing out candles on his cake to celebrate his one year anniversary of transplant.

I'm doing better now, but I wasn't alright for a couple of weeks. My therapist says that anger is a normal part of the healing process after the trauma of cancer and my usual positivity and proactive nature will keep coming back, but it's important to feel these big feelings. 

Anger is my least favourite emotion and makes me feel out of control. I hate that feeling and yet a good part of the last two years I have felt that way...tightly wound with my sanity ready to snap at any point without warning. I've talked a lot recently to other cancer moms and know this is all "normal" for us, but still hard for each and every one of us nearly every day. 

Photo description: Ollie sits at the table in front of a Braille version of the game Scrabble and feels a Braille Scrabble tile for the first time.

There have been good days and high points interspersed among my bad days. The interview I did for Healthing.ca finally got posted. This was timely as it promotes donation of all blood products and these are desperately needed right now as surgeries and procedures resume after lockdowns.

We also saw the endocrinologist and Ollie's bone density and hypothyroidism issues are improving (slowly). We have scans again in about 6 months. In the meantime he stays on the hypothyroidism med, doesn't need the osteoporosis injections and cannot use trampolines or go horseback riding.

Photo description: Dawn, Ollie and Mario sit in a darkened movie theatre wearing masks while Ollie holds a huge bag of popcorn.

Another highlight was taking Ollie to the movies. Ollie was having cabin fever and begged me to see if we could safely go to the movies. We haven't been in two years since just before he got sick. 

I checked out COVID protocols and was happy to see I could book seats and everything around them would be blocked off automatically. Also figured Sunday night for a kids movie (the new Boss Baby sequel movie) wasn't likely to be a big draw. 

I discovered that most new movies now have audio description (marked as DS or Descriptive Service in movie ads) thanks to a lawsuit in the US where blind people sued the studios forcing them all to start providing audio description that narrates the details and context a blind person needs to understand what's happening on screen. Not only do studios have to provide audio description tracks, but theatres over the past six years have been equipped to have blind patrons use a special headphone and transmitter to provide the audio description in every theatre for free.

Photo description: Dawn holds a small black transmitter and headphones in her hand that read, "Fidelio". This enables bind and low vision people to use the descriptive audio service in movie theatres.

We went to the 7 pm movie with Ollie. There were three families sitting rows apart in the entire theatre. We bought a gigantic popcorn (we did once order movie popcorn to our condo in Toronto as a treat during transplant there!). We kicked back in the recliner seats. The movie started. The boys were enraptured. 

I sat in the dark and silently cried for the first 5 minutes at the blissful normalcy (despite masks) of it and with the joy of knowing that there is a technology that will allow my blind son some enjoyment of a normal activity. 

My heart was full and I enjoyed that silly overpriced movie more than any other I've ever watched. Grateful. Thank you science and innovation.

Photo description: Ollie stands in the grass at the dog park while commanding Buddy Dogs Hope (foreground) and June (background).

One afternoon we had a great meet-up with fellow CNIB Buddy Dog duo Connor and June at the Country Canines Playpark.The boys enjoyed the hour in a private dog run to keep them safe from COVID and to enable their dogs to run freely and have fun safely. I am always impressed by the CNIB Buddy Dog program and the fact that although these dogs didn't make it into the guide dog program, they are so well-behaved and responsive to commands even given by kids!

Photo description: Abby sits on the sofa with legs folded wearing a backwards ball cap and sitting beside Chewbacca the cat and CNIB Buddy Dog Hope.

Ollie was in his school's playground about a week ago getting re-familiarized with everything now that he's blind and hasn't been there in almost two years due to cancer, stem cell transplant and COVID-19. 

He walked every inch of the yard with his white cane to remember every tree, bench, basketball poll, soccer goalpost, door to the school and playground. At times it was frustrating for him to be back in a place he once felt so comfortable in and now needs to re-learn. 

Lots of patience from his vision loss consultant and many mama hugs later he got it done and even took a swing on the monkey bars. He was delighted to see he'd grown so much in two years that he could even reach up and grab them from ground level!

Photo description: A masked Ollie stands on a raised platform reaching for the monkey bars in front of him in his school's playground.

So ultimately despite the sadness and anger, most of our days were filled with happiness and excitement. My cup really is always at least half full.

Stability and Philanthropy

[Photo description: Hope, Ollie and Mario walk along a gravel road during a beautiful sunset at the Central Experimental Farm]

Stability is often underrated. Most of us crave the excitement of newness in our lives even if we don't always like the pace of change (whether too slow or too fast). Throughout the roller coaster of cancer during COVID-19, though, we've learned too well that stability is the greatest place to live. I know everyone is tired of the monotony of staying home for stability right now, but to us stability was a distant dream a year ago, and today is a blessed reality. Perspective is everything.

[Photo description: A smiling Ollie looks into the fire table as Mario shakes Jiffy Pop popcorn over the fire after dark]

Medically Ollie is still in remission (340 days today since they declared remission last June and +314 days post transplant), but we'll never be sure if that's because of the stem cell transplant or his continued use of the ALK inhibitor drug Lorlatinib or both. At the moment he remains on the drug and the plan is to keep him on it for another year until he's two years post transplant in July 2022. There are two other children on it that we're following closely (in the UK and in the US) as they are each like us - essentially guessing when to take their children off of the drug to see if after the drug and transplant they will remain cancer free. Because the drug has never been tested on children, there is no data to rely on and because it has just been approved in the US as a front line treatment for lung cancer, but not ALCL, there's no adult data that is helpful either. 

[Photo description: A smiling Ollie sits on the red sofa in his play room while holding a street sign that reads, "Skateboarding Drive"]

The one side effect that they all have is significant weight gain. In the big scheme of things for us this is okay for now because he is alive and otherwise doing well. When he was at his sickest he didn't eat anything (except being connected to IV fluids with sugar and potassium) for 17 days and was skin and bones. After that fear I'll take plump and otherwise happy and healthy any day. At some point, though, they'll all have to stop taking the drug and hope and pray that it and transplant were enough to "cure" them. Kind of glad we're not there yet. I never imagined I'd want to keep my kid on an untested drug for this long. Your whole mindset shifts when you're dealing with potentially life or death decisions.

[Photo description: Ollie relaxes on the sofa with his feet on the ottoman with his hands on Hope the dog on one side and Chewbacca the cat on the other]

The hypothyroidism that Ollie was experiencing a few months ago seems to have been corrected with the Eltroxin drug that they put him on.  He has bone density scans and a meeting with the endocrinologist in July, so we'll see how long they expect him to remain on this drug. At least he's gotten past most of the fatigue, outbursts, and increased weight gain with low appetite, so we're on the right track.

[Photo description: Ollie fell asleep in the car with his head resting on Hope who is also sleeping]

We've spent a lot of time over the past two months contributing to other awareness and fundraising efforts to help others like we've been helped. With your help over the past year, between the Ollie's Pizza from Gabriel Pizza benefiting Candlelighters Ottawa, and fundraisers we've done or contributed to for CHEO, CNIB, and Make A Wish of Eastern Ontario, we've raised more than $17,000 to help families with medical challenges like ours! I'm blown away by this and we still have more to do...

[Photo description: Ollie and Hope sit in the playroom in front of the tablet waiting for the CNIB Guide Dog Program Graduation to begin]

At the end of April 2021, Ollie and Hope graduated in the CNIB's Guide Dog Program Graduation Ceremony alongside all Guide Dog and Buddy Dog pairs from across the country. It was lovely and he was so proud to be part of it! Ollie did an interview with the Ottawa Citizen about his Hope the day before and to our great surprise it ended up on the cover of the Ottawa Citizen on April 29 and page 2 of the Ottawa Sun! Everyone at CHEO teased him about how famous he and Hope are now! 😆

[Photo description: Front page of the Ottawa Citizen print edition of Thursday, April 29, 2021 featuring Ollie and Hope and the headline, "HOPE IS WITH OLLIE"]

A few weeks ago Ollie and Abby's story was featured on the Global News' The New Reality show about COVID-19 and cancer. Ours was thankfully a positive piece despite COVID causing us to have to use Abby's half match stem cells last summer instead of the three perfect matches on the international stem cell registry. Unfortunately, so many adults with cancer have not been getting the treatments they need during COVID-19. It's important that people continue to seek medical attention for anything serious despite COVID-19. We can tell you from experience that the hospitals are being diligent about safety. We have literally lived in two hospitals and when outpatient visited two hospitals daily  throughout COVID without exposure. And that is with a kid with NO immune system for a big part of this period. 

CHEO tells us that while they normally see about 75 kids diagnosed with cancer annually, their numbers are way up at over 100 kids diagnosed in the past year. They don't have data to explain why, but I think it's likely because most of us are spending way more time with our kids during the pandemic and perhaps we're now more aware of their health or lack thereof than ever before. This at least is a positive by product of COVID as it potentially means kids being diagnosed earlier with a greater chance at beating cancer.

[Photo description: Hope sits beside Ollie while wearing a CNIB Pup Crawl Bib with "Ollie and Hope : 8306535" written on it]

Ollie and Hope also participated in the CNIB Pup Crawl to raise money to help others like him to get a Guide Dog or Buddy Dog. Our original goal was $500, as we know that we've asked a lot of people for fundraising help over the past months. Within 12 hours we had already met and exceeded that goal so we increased it. In the end we passed that goal, too and were shocked and grateful when so many generous people donated helping to raise $1,518!

[Photo description: Screen capture of web page for Team Ollie's Hope showing a photo of Hope and Ollie and $1,518 raised with a $1,000 goal.]

So now we're raising money for CHEO through the sharing of Ollie's story on the CHEO Telethon from May 24- June 6, 2021. I love how they've also highlighted the very special role that Abby played in his story. We're honoured to be representing all oncology families this year and to be profiled with 5 other families with various medical needs served daily by the incredible team at CHEO. 

I have always made donations to others' CHEO fundraising campaigns in the past. I can vividly remember hearing the telethon broadcast on the radio when Mario and I were newly dating 16 years ago and having to turn it off because the stories made my heart hurt and my eyes leak and I wanted to give them ALL of my money (not that I had much then either). I recall being horrified at all that those courageous families had to endure with their poor innocent children. And now it's our family who's endured it and survived it.

[Photo description: On Facebook Dawn shares CHEO's promotion of Ollie's CHEO telethon piece including a video with a thumbnail photo of Ollie and Abby watching a tablet together]

Honestly Ollie is here today because of the tireless efforts of everyone at CHEO. We are so fortunate that we had such excellent care right in our own city and we'll continue to need them throughout Ollie's childhood as he's monitored regularly to ensure there are no further relapses and to treat the long-term effects of his cancer like his blindness (we're seeing opthamalogy again next week), his bone density issues (he has scans and an appointment in endocrinology in July) and anything else that might come up over the next 9 years of his childhood. Although he is doing well, cancer treatment doesn't really end with remission and kids like Ollie will continue to need the resources at CHEO. And with all of the generosity that there is in this city, we still need more to meet all of the needs of the kids that CHEO serves annually.

[Photo description: Screen capture of Ollie's CHEO telethon web page]

To this end, we are also thankful to W.O. Stinson and Son Ltd. who are matching donations up to $10,000! Please give generously if you can and share with anyone who has followed Ollie's journey over the past 19 months. The telethon will also be broadcast on CTV Ottawa from 1-7 pm on Sunday, June 6th and we'll be doing a live follow-up interview following the broadcast of Ollie's story (likely between 6 pm and 7 pm). We've heard from a few of you that you've already seen the promo video or part of Ollie's story on CTV Ottawa news over the past week and made a donation, so thanks to all!

[Photo description: Abby laughing in front of her house while discovering signage that reads, "Happy 13th B-day Abby!" and balloons]

Abby's also had an eventful few weeks, having had a birthday where she officially became a teenager, getting her braces on and having her first and very coveted COVID-19 vaccine scheduled for early June. 

[Photo description: Abby smiling in the car after getting her braces on]

Mario and I are both doing well. As you read above, I've been pretty busy managing Ollie's philanthropic and awareness raising activities as well as his schooling and regular medical scheduling. Mario has also been busy with work and in evenings and weekends being Ollie's "playmate" and always working away trying to squeeze in activities from our perpetual to do list around the house. 

[Photo description: Mario and Ollie run through a blow up splash pad sprinkler in the backyard during the recent heat wave]

Often we just accept that some things won't get done as we take the time to enjoy the second chance we've been given at continuing Ollie's childhood. Because in the end nothing else matters like living does.

[Photo description: Dawn, Ollie and Mario enjoy a picnic at the Central Experimental Farm]

Hoping you and your loved ones are safe and okay and taking deep breaths to get through this home stretch. I recently learned that a childhood/high school friend Melissa got COVID and was in the hospital on a vent for a while. She's doing better, but she's the same age as I am and it sure hits home that this is serious and can affect any of us. Praying that her recovery continues and sending strength to her family. The lockdown has felt difficult for all, but there are worse things to survive and this is exactly why we've had to endure lockdown. Everyone has had to sacrifice. Trust me - you can overcome things that are way harder than you can ever imagine surviving. As things open up wherever you are, please be safe and moderate in rejoining the world. Sending you all strength for whatever comes next.

+100 Days Post Stem Cell Transplant

Wednesday was +100 days post stem cell transplant and scans day. We were at CHEO from 12:45 pm to 6:15pm. Ollie was incredible. I think it might have been his best day outpatient at CHEO ever. 

 He is now a totally calm and cool pro at getting pokes and didn't stress at all about getting his poke to have the IV inserted for the CT and MRI contrasts. 

He had been concerned about drinking the contrast for the CT, but thankfully I had a triple Pushpop sucker in his bag and he took licks in between and got it all down no problem. That's a pro-tip. Always have suckers, ring pops, etc. when you take your kid for tests in hospital. Thank goodness I had left some in our bag!

His ECG was quick and uneventful.

We got Llama Llama Blue Pajamas out to help with the scans. He's been in every scan Ollie has ever had. Most internally photographed Llama ever! 😜

CT went so great! We had two of our favourite imaging helpers in Sarah (the tech) and Jean (the nurse). Both know Ollie from so many previous scans and were happy to see Llama and talk about Ollie's Pizza. As always I was thankful for these amazing women who are so patient and kind. 

We bumped into Jamie at CHEO after the CT (we always seem to have radar and come together by happenstance often) and she had a few minutes to come back to MDU and hang out with us between meetings. She marveled at the difference in Ollie (last she really saw him was in June pre-transplant) and couldn't get over his returning energy level.

The MRI was backed up due to an unexpected trauma, so we waited an extra 35 minutes before we went in. Normally Ollie would have been so upset by this, but he took it into stride, only asking a few times when they were coming. When they came to get him, wouldn't you know it, we had the same technician that we had at our very first MRI at CHEO last year in November 1st. Complete deja vu.

They're taking extra COVID precautions to keep the MRI safe and clean, so he was completely PPE-ed and thought it was funny. 

I opted to sit in the MRI room with him as I had the first time and not since (Mario did his last MRI with him at Sick Kids and for all of the other MRIs he was sedated so they didn't allow parents in). I was stressed, but didn't realize how triggering this would be. From the moment I sat down in the hard red plastic chair and donned the red and black ear protectors, I felt anxious. Ollie appeared cool as a cucumber. 

The minute the machine started banging I could feel my heart begin to beat faster and escalate with each series of noises. I started to hold my breath and feel overwhelmed. Thankfully at that moment I remembered the words sent by my therapist in an email that morning. "Please try to exhale and stick to the present moment as much as possible." I dragged myself back from the panicked feeling I had in his first scan when we were so stressed and didn't know what he had, but knew it didn't look good. I took deep breaths and reminded myself that we got through it all and we're okay. That today was just a formality to confirm that he is as well as we can see he is.

It was a long hour and since I had to leave my metal watch and my phone in a locker, I had no idea how much time has passed. No clock in there, either!  Ollie was a champ. In about the last 12 minutes (3 scans of about 4 minutes each passed) Ollie asked loudly when he'd be done. Then he continued to be calm and still for the last scans, even when they came in to inject the dye in his IV. I remember vividly him freaking out that first time. 

In fact a few minutes later when he was done, I told the technician and her colleague about that first time and how kind she had been to Ollie when he freaked out, giving him a second chance to redo the scans and how that had shaped how we approached tests all year. Then Ollie told her about his Ollie Pizza and turns out she lives next door to the Hanna family who owns Gabriel Pizza! I love that about Ottawa. In a city of a million people you can still have so many people in common and so few degrees of separation. 

That was it for our day. Because he was amazing, he had been allowed to choose a new Lego set in the gift shop. He loves going there because truly it is the only 

store he's been allowed to shop in physically in a year. A kid who hated shopping with me before now wishes he could go into ANY store with me.

Now nothing left to do but wait for results. Our oncologist knows how much Ollie hates waiting and asked if okay as usual to call us with results, which was great. Last night Ollie was concerned about the results. I told him we'd already kicked cancer out twice this year with remissions and while I sincerely felt that he was well and desperately hoped we'd never have to battle cancer again, we'd fight it as many times as we had to in order to get him well and keep him with us. We fight as one. That reassured him and we agreed to just try to have a good day today.

And it was a good day. Ollie's Vision Itinerant teacher had arranged for him to be online with three other boys (all 8 and in grade 3) who were also part of the blind and low vision program. Ollie was so happy to meet kids like him. We had chatted with the Vision Itinerant Team Lead back in June to plan Ollie's return to school with this program, so Ollie was familiar with her already. She did a terrific job taking the boys through a story and tactile craft. She wove in some Braille and knowing Ollie couldn't yet read a lot in Braille, she had him type out the first letter of each word in Braille and praised him at always knowing the right dots for each letter considering he'd just learned Braille this summer. He was beyond thrilled. At the end he enthusiastically agreed that the group should do this again soon. He rarely gets this excited about anything school related. Connecting with kids like him was so good for his mental health.

This afternoon the kids had their second private session with Kids Kicking Cancer. Senseis Lyne and Cody were so responsive to his needs. They knew last time he really wanted to do real karate moves, so they started with stretches, telling the kids that you always stretch before a fight.

We cracked up at Chewbacca the cat joining the stretching...he seemed to be hanging on Sensei Cody's every word! 😄

When Sensei Cody realized Ollie was getting confused about a move and couldn't keep up, he suggested Ollie lead the count. This was so perfect as it made Ollie feel powerful instead of weak and slow. His energy and motion is coming back but some things are still hard for him. This made him set the pace and because of it, he even pushed himself to do more.

Ollie finally got to do stances and punches. He was so thrilled and proud of himself. He was elated to do the karate yells, too! 😄

For safe sparring, Sensei asked me to get a pillow. My brilliant silly boy suggested we bring the enormous bear he was given in hospital by the staff of the Calendar Club down instead. The bear has never been given a name, but Sensei Lyne insisted that an opponent needed a name, so he became Tom the Bear. The kids had fun taking turns sparring with Tom safely. 

The final breathing and relaxation exercise that Sensei Lyne took them through was calming and cleansing. I could see the tension leaving both kids and by extension, I felt calmer. 

The timing could not have been better since right after class I got the call from Dr. Brianna (Empringham). She explained that they had compared his scans from relapse in January and April and confirmed that the MRI looked better than his June remission scan. CLEAR. In fact they can see that the inflammation in his optic nerves had gone way down, although there was still a bit detected. She explained that they'd done the same with his CT scan as well. 

Only issue in his CT was the hip osteopaenia that they already knew from his bone density test last week. They'll do an x-ray of his pelvis on Monday and we're seeing the bone specialist and endocrinologist next week anyways to formulate a plan to improve this. 

Otherwise, scans were CLEAR.

COMPLETE REMISSION. 

ALLELUJAH!

Shortly thereafter, generous friend Tara (and Ollie's friend and classmate Will's mom) dropped by and left Suzy Q doughnuts on our porch, knowing we were waiting on results and they turned out to be Ollie's "victory doughnuts" as he dubbed them. Delicious victory!

 After dinner (of what else but Ollie Pizza from Gabriel Pizza?!), we finally carved our huge pumpkins chosen at the Parkdale Market this week (too risky for us to brave a pumpkin patch this year). We put on Halloween tunes and danced and sang while carving.

We're obviously not going out this year (couldn't really have even without COVID), but rituals and traditions are important and we cannot skip things just because things aren't normal (boy did we learn that over the past year).

This was the first real year that Ollie was big enough to do much of it himself. My heart sang that his blindness didn't deter his joy for it this year. He scooped goop vigorously and happily. 

Abby and Daddy worked on hers. Mario was excited to use the new pumpkin carving drill I bought super on sale after Halloween this year. LOL

Ollie explained in detail how he wanted his scary pumpkin to look. He helped me cut and took out the carved pieces. He felt each cut after and declared it perfectly spooky. 

Abby did the goop scooping and design, but left the carving to Daddy. Their final result was great.

Just as we were finishing up, M-F and Stephen stopped by and insisted we all come out for a distanced porch visit. We had texted them as well as family add a few close friends who have been there on this journey with us every step of the way, so they came with drinks to toast our good fortune and Ollie's health. 

We are feeling so very blessed and thankful. It's been a long and often agonizing road, but we're finally on the healing path of wellness. We're certainly not done and Ollie will continue to be monitored weekly at CHEO over the next few months, but now we know definitively that it is possible to keep him in remission for longer than a few weeks and that his system has truly been reset by the transplant. 

Nevertheless, cancer is a lifelong scourge in many ways with its many side effects (some that we may not see for years) and the possibility that it could always come back. We know families who have had the stem cell transplant and still end up relapsing. So Ollie continues on the one immunosuppressants and his Lorlatinib as a maintenance drug, likely until a year post transplant. 

We'll cross every bridge as we come to them. Please let our future path be free of major bridges. In the meantime we will just try to live our best life with gratitude for the incredible gift of keeping our son that God, science and an enormous amount of love and kindness from all of you have given us.