2022 - A Year of Giving, Growth, and Gratitude

Happy New Year! I actually started writing this update weeks ago and then suddenly Christmas activities took over and I'm just now able to get back to it! It's been a lovely and quiet Christmas the past week and allowed for lots of rest and reflection on 2022.

Much like all of 2022, the past two months since I last updated the blog have been so busy! So much so that I didn't realize how much time has passed! Happy to report that other than minor colds and a sinus infection for me, we've all been well and normalcy is wonderful.

[Photo Description: Ollie on skates and wearing a hockey helmet and Ottawa 67s jersey holds the hands of his sighted guide Emily on his first day of Ottawa 67s Blind Hockey/Canadian Blind Hockey Association league.]

This fall Ollie started hockey with the Ottawa 67s/Canadian Blind Hockey Association. I wasn't sure how he'd like it this year even though he was sure he wanted to try it. Last year the only time we got him up on skates he was less than thrilled and mad at me for making him shuffle around the whole rink at least once before taking the skates off. Maybe it's that a bunch of his sighted buddies at school play hockey in leagues and talk about it all the time, or that some of his friends with vision loss have been raving about the program all summer when they played Beep Kickball together and they encouraged him to come out and try it this fall. Either way he couldn't wait for the season to start.

[Photo Description: In his second week, Ollie stands on the ice on skates wearing his Ottawa 67s jersey and a hockey helmet, holding a hockey stick with his sighted guide Emily (from Ottawa's Able2) giving him instruction.]

The first practice session was to show the newbies basics and how to skate. Ollie had been a decent skater before and had even taken lessons when he was sighted. Ironically one of the last activities that he did sighted was to go skating at one of the local park rinks with me one day in January 2020 between rounds of chemo when he was feeling well enough and cooped up. He was delighted that day to push the shovel around and clear the snow, then play a bit of hockey while we had the rink to ourselves because it was a weekday. Everyone else was busy with their regular work and school lives while we were at a loss for something to do when there were no medical appointments.

[Photo Description: Ollie stands on the ice wearing and a hockey helmet at Fisher Park, holding a hockey stick in January 2020 just after round 2 of chemo and before relapsing and going blind less than 2 weeks later.]

In October, during his first week of blind hockey, Ollie noted that the new kids suffered through the basics of learning to play with the help of one-on-one sighted guides, while those who had done it before got to play actual hockey at the other end of the arena with a couple of the coaches. By week two he was determined he'd quickly join the returning kids playing hockey. Each of the four weeks since Ollie has progressed with surprising speed and many of the other parents have commented on it and been amused by how determined he is to get better at it. We're not that surprised since we know very well how committed this kid is to getting better in every way. 

It helps that the coaches and sighted guides are all incredibly dedicated and talented volunteers. The coordinators of the program, Wendy and Rob are the parents of the Executive Director of the Canadian Blind Hockey Association and do this because of their son's contagious passion for offering blind hockey across the country. The skating coach, Shelley is one of the most elite figure skating coaches in Canada and has been the Skating Development Consultant for the Ottawa Senators for more than a handful of years! Coach JoJo works with the Ottawa 67s and sighted guides like Emily (who is the Executive Director of Able2 that supported the Beep Kickball that Ollie played with the Miracle League of Ottawa last summer) come out to help each week, plus lend equipment when needed. 

[Photo Description: Ollie tries on his new to him hockey equipment courtesy of the Wright Family with his Maple Leafs jersey to tease them (they're Habs fans! 😆)].

Since Ollie had never played hockey, we were uncertain if he'd like it, so appreciated that he could try it for a few weeks without us having to buy any equipment (other than providing his skates and helmet). Plus, they often get donations of gently used equipment so that families don't have to spend a lot to get started. When we saw that Ollie was clearly psyched to do it this year, our dear friends the Wright family gave Ollie everything he needed to get started as their two boys play hockey and had outgrown a bunch of stuff they were planning on donating somewhere anyways! This allows us to pay for just his ice time for the season and we'll make a donation to the Canadian Blind Hockey Association in 2023 to pay it forward so other visually impaired kids can play at low or no cost, too.

[Photo Description: Dawn, Ollie and Mario sitting at the Ottawa Senators Hockey Fights Cancer game while Ollie shows off his new purple and white jersey. All three are masked.]

His new Ottawa 67s Blind Hockey jersey has been ordered (the first they gave him was too small once he got all the equipment on! 😆). So in the meantime, he happily wears the "real" Ottawa 67s jersey that the team gave him last spring to replace the original one that they gave him (he outgrew the first one) when Gabriel Pizza made the trip to Toronto to deliver the famous Olive pizzas (later named the Ollie's Pizza on his honour and still on their menu). Or his latest acquisition, which is the Hockey Fights Cancer Ottawa Senators jersey, which he got at their Hockey Fights Cancer game that we attended with Kids Kicking Cancer last month. He joked that it's the only way we'd get him into a Sens jersey! 😆

[Photo Description: Ollie, wearing his hockey gear and his Hockey Fights Cancer jersey works on stick handling with Coach JoJo during a hockey practice last month.]

On October 29th we were excited to be included in the Ottawa REDBLACKS CFL game when Gabriel Pizza asked Ollie to do the coin toss (as the namesake of their Ollie's Pizza) with their founder, Mr. George Hanna. The whole family was included in the festivities, with Ollie doing the coin toss with the players, Mr. Hanna and the Gabriel Pizza mascot, Chef Gabe. 

[Photo Description: Ollie stands on the sidelines of the Ottawa REDBLACKS CFL game, arm in arm with Gabriel Pizza's mascot Chef Gabe, while holding his mobility cane.]

Game day was super exciting, and the whole family (including Hope) got to go down to the field level for the coin toss. I accompanied Ollie onto the sidelines and he was almost vibrating with energy as we talked to the Hanna Family and the Ottawa REDBLACKS staff while we waited for the big moment. From fireworks as the players came onto the field to the cheer team, it was non-stop action with me trying to explain it all to Ollie quickly and accurately as he listened to it all happening rapidly.

[Photo Description: Ollie and Dawn on the sidelines with Chef Gabe, George Hanna and Rolla Hanna. Photo courtesy of Sharon Higgins from Gabriel Pizza.]

I guided him on to the field and stepped back while Ollie had his moment with the team. It happened pretty fast and Mr. Hanna did the actual coin toss while Ollie and mascot Chef Gabe stood nearby. On our way back to the sidelines I was delighted to see my old friend and former Ottawa Gee-Gees colleague/photographer Andre Ringuette of Freestyle Photography as he was shooting the game! He greeted us both (he's also a friend on Facebook and knows Ollie's story) and took an amazing shot of the two of us. 

When he sent it to me, he told me it was the "shot of the week" and I have to admit it's one of my favourite ever taken of the two of us. I love this shot because my friend who is an amazing photographer (he also shoots for the Ottawa Senators, has been part of the Canadian delegation to shoot several Olympic Games, is the official Canadian Tire Centre photographer and has photographed SO many famous music groups and artists, etc.) took it, but also because although Ollie has my arm and I am supposed to be guiding him, you can clearly see he is actually leading me boldly with his mobility cane and no fear. Much like he has throughout his cancer, stem cell transplant and transition to blindness journey. People think I am guiding him through it all, but he's really always been intuitively leading me to help him. 

[Photo Description: Ollie and Dawn walk off the field after the Ottawa REDBLACKS coin toss. The North side stands are behind them and although Ollie is holding Dawn's arm, he is clearly leading while walking slightly ahead of her and using his mobility cane. Photo credit to Andre Ringuette, Freestyle Photography.]

After the coin toss, the Hanna Family kindly invited us up to their suite to watch the game and eat with them. It was lovely to get to know Mr. George Hanna, his daughter Rolla (who also manages the Gabriel Pizza restaurant on Metcalfe in downtown Ottawa where I used to go for lunch pre-cancer and pre-COVID) and her teen son/his grandson Gabriel (born long AFTER the business was started) and we had a lot of fun, too! 

[Photo Description: White letters against the sloped green hill in the REDBLACKS end zone spell out, "OLLIEWOOD".]

A few days later a friend sent me a photo that he took at another event at Lansdowne the day after the game. In the end zone someone had put up letters against the sloped green hill that said, "OLLIEWOOD". We checked against photos from the game the day before and they hadn't been there then! We actually think it was put up for Athletico Ottawa player Ollie Bassett,  but this made Ollie laugh in delight to think that someone might have done this in homage to him! 😆

[Photo Description: Ollie sits on a gurney in CHEO's Medical Day Unit (MDU)  with Hope on Halloween. Ollie is wearing a jack-o-lantern shirt and a KN95 mask. Hope is wearing her CNIB Buddy Dog vest and holding a stuffed pumpkin that Ollie got as a gift in a loot bag and gave to her.]

On Halloween we started our day at CHEO for bloodwork, a check-up and his final re-vaccinations (Diptheria, Tuberculosis and Pertussis - ironically it was Tuberculosis that they were convinced he had before he was diagnosed with cancer, even though he'd been vaccinated for it) after transplant. Hope came with us again and made Ollie even calmer. At one point when Nurse Julie was trying to clean his arm to prepare for bloodwork, Hope kept trying to be helpful and comforting and lick him where Julie had already cleaned, so we had to hold her so we could do it without a contaminated field! 😆 

Later Dr. Brianna (who was also dressed up as a baseball player for Halloween) helped Ollie to find and listen to Hope's heartbeat with her stethoscope. Talk about full service at CHEO! 😆

[Photo Description: Ollie and Hope sit on the gurney in MDU and he listens to Hope's heartbeat on Dr. Brianna's stethoscope as she holds it in place.]

Ollie's scans when we last updated this blog had been clear, but we were still waiting on results from his minimal residual disease (MRD) test that we'd sent to Germany again to be part of a relapse study for Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma (ALCL). Thankfully shortly thereafter we got the call that the test was once again negative!  This was incredible news because it meant that we could keep him off of the Lorlatinib as the plan was always to re-start immediately if the test was positive and showed any sign of that cell still mutating and causing the cancer. 

[Photo Description: Hope licks Ollie as Nurse Julie begins to get him ready to have his bloodwork done in CHEO's MDU.] 

So the only ongoing issue besides the minor osteopenia in his lower back and hip (which his recent scans showed had actually improved again marginally), is his thyroid. Since September we've been playing with his dose of synthetic thyroid medicine to try to get to the right level. Every month he's had to go back for bloodwork to check the level again and each month it's still been too high, showing that he is now experiencing hyperthyroidism instead of the hypothyroidism he has had since transplant. 

Last month when they bumped him down for the third time to the lowest dose he's ever been on (50 mg), I asked the endocrinologist if it were possible that his thyroid is now actually functioning properly again and maybe he doesn't need the med anymore? I suggested perhaps the Lorlatinib that had been surpressing his immune system (as soon as we took him off his white blood cell count, red blood cell count, neutrophils, etc. shot up again, almost doubling even though his levels on Lorlatinib had been healthy/within normal ranges), has also been suppressing his thyroid function and now that he was no longer on the drug perhaps it was working again? She acknowledged that this was possible, but we'd still have to take the latest dose for a month and see what the bloodwork shows as it can take 4-6 weeks for the dose change to take effect. 

We'll go again this week to check, but his appetite is still very low even though the fatigue, sensitivity and outbursts have disappeared, and this makes me think we are still giving him too much med and he may not need it at all. We'll keep you posted, but my track record on predicting/analyzing this stuff has been pretty good so far.

[Photo Description: Dawn, Ollie and Hope on the CNIB Guide Dogs float for the 2022 Carleton Place Santa Parade.]

At the beginning of November, Ollie and I were invited to share his story and his transition to blindness with a university group called, Unite for Site thanks to his Kids Kicking Cancer Sensei Brian being part of the group that organizes it. It was my first time back on the University of Ottawa campus (other than at the arena where he now plays hockey, too!) in a long time and it was kind of fun to share more of my alma mater with my son. Hope came along too and the talk was well- received.

At the end of November we also once again participated in the Carleton Place Santa Parade on the CNIB Guide Dogs float. It was another beautiful night with great weather and not too cold! It was extra fun to have our friends Adam, his mom Lisa and his new Buddy Dog Henson there this year, in addition to our friends Connor, his CNIB Buddy Dog June and mom Julie. As always it was great to see the coordinator of the Buddy Dog program who gave us our Hope, Miriam. 

[Photo Description: A posting advertising Braille Night for Unite for Sight. The poster includes photos of someone reading Braille with their finger and a photo of Ollie holding up his Braille TacTiles to do math when he was in virtual school the year after transplant.]

In early December Unite for Site had us back to teach them about the basics of Braille. The event was held at the Ottawa Eye Institute just down the hall from Ollie's retina specialist's clinic and as all were welcome, we were delighted that friends Sam (who wrote the Ollie's Telescope book based on Ollie), her son Tobey, and Sensei Lyne and her husband, Luigi also came! We had a great time and Ollie was an incredibly funny and charismatic teacher. Sensei Lyne told me after that he IS teaching the world and since his vision itinerant teacher Dawne also tells me what an incredible teacher he is for the little ones, it seems maybe he is destined to be a teacher as he grows up, whether by profession or simply by passion. 

[Photo Description: Dawn and Ollie are pictured with the group that came to Braille Night behind a table with Braille materials on it. They were all excellent students!]

We recently got back our family photos that were taken during this year's #PhotosForPhoebe fundraiser for the Phoebe Rose Rocks Foundation who supported us during transplant and co-sponsored the genetic sequencing testing that helped to identify his miracle drug Lorlatinib. 

[Photo Description: Mario and Dawn hug Ollie and Abby between them in their 2022 family photos. Photo credit to Anne-Marie Bouchard.]

It was so nice to do the photos in a studio this year with photographer Anne-Marie Bouchard and to be able to meet Phoebe's mom, Jenny and her sister, Mae. As it turns out Abby knew Mae from school, but neither girl realized what they had in common beyond another friend who also volunteered to help that day. It's funny that I had also told Abby about another kid that goes to her school who had cancer (I sit on a committee with their dad) and it turns out she knew them, too and didn't realize what they had in common either. She seemed shocked that she now knew several others whose families have been affected by childhood cancer, too. The thing is cancer isolates you so much that while you're in it, you can't imagine that anyone else like you might be experiencing it, too, especially if you're a teen and think you're the only one suffering.

[Photo Description: Ollie bends down with his hands on Hope as she lies down in her halty and CNIB Buddy Dog vest. Photo credit to Anne-Marie Bouchard.]

In December Ollie and I were invited to be part of a commercial that the Canadian Cancer Society is putting together to promote the value of palliative care in hopes that the various provincial governments will increase their support across the country. We were the only pediatric cancer family to be involved and they wanted to highlight how our experience with palliative care helped Ollie to survive. This was easy because I am convinced that meeting with Sick Kids Hospital's Palliative Advanced Care Team (PACT) from the outset of his second attempt at transplant and working with them to ensure we had pain management, nutrition and psycho-social supports in place for the whole family during his transplant helped us all to get through it more easily than we expected to. Palliative isn't just about end of life care (although we have dear friends who have needed this and have seen through them the value of making children's passing as peaceful and comfortable as possible for the whole family) and we need to do more to make people understand all of it. 

[Photo Description: Ollie gets ready to do a drop-in into the bowl at The Yard during his skateboarding lesson with Jordan. The director of the Canadian Cancer Society commercial holds the camera, one of the production assistants is by his side and the boom mic can be seen in the shot.] 

So Ollie and I shot the commercial with the crew on December 8th beginning with our individual interviews at home, some b-roll of playing at home and then we took them to the Yard for Ollie's skateboarding lesson.

Ollie insisted on trying the five foot drop-in that he hadn't landed yet. He tried it twice while they are filming and took major wipe-outs, as my heart was pounding and I was holding myself back from taking him not to do it. Both Jordan and I told him he didn't have to for the camera and it didn't have to happen on that day. When we saw that he wouldn't give up, Jordan gave him a pep talk and I yelled, "I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!", which is what we used to say over and over when he needed to convince himself that he could do the hardest things during cancer and stem cell transplant. He said a little prayer and told himself he could do it (he told me this later) and on the third try he nailed the drop-in with no hands and Jordan caught his hands as he descended into the bowl successfully without wiping out. 

[Photo Description: Just before successfully doing the drop-in, Ollie asks Jordan to hold his hand for a minute while he prepared mentally to do it. Jordan, as ever the best coach and teacher, didn't question it, just did what Ollie needed to feel ready.]

At the end they hugged so hard and the entire crew was wiping tears from their eyes. If they keep it in the commercial, it'll be interesting to see if others feel what a big deal it was for the blind ten year old cancer and stem cell transplant survivor to do this. I shared the story and the video on social media and there was a lot of fanfare including one of his personal heroes, pro blind skateboarder Justin Bishop sharing it on his Instagram story the next day. Ollie was very proud. 

The commercial was being shot with other adults across Canada and is expected to be released early in 2023. We'll keep you posted and share it when it is publicly available. We may just be a few seconds in it, but feel proud to be helping and I know that my grandparents (who were big Canadian Cancer Society supporters after the three times my grandpa had cancer) would be happy that we were doing what we could to help others to get better palliative care in future. 

[Photo Description: Ollie helps Mario to put the Christmas tree together.]

Ollie was sick for about 2 weeks with what we suspect was RSV, even though he still masks at school, as his school has had record absenteeism rates due to RSV and flu. As Ollie pointed out to us, kids were going to school sick (the principal corroborated at the Parent Council meeting that they were having to send a lot of sick kids home who were clearly sick before they got to school!) and he still had to take his mask off at lunch time to eat, so likely got sick that way. 

Ollie had his flu shot in October as did we all, and his most recent COVID booster in November and we tested for days when he got sick, so know it wasn't COVID, and no fever, nausea or vomiting, so not flu. Plus several of his teachers were out with RSV or it having developed into pneumonia over December. We kept him home over a week until the mucous stopped constantly making him miserable. 

Naturally that's how I got it on top of the sinus infection I'd been waiting for a virtual doctor's visit to address. I felt pretty rotten for about 6 days, but thankfully the doctor gave me antibiotics for the sinus infection, so when that cleared, the cold symptoms were much more manageable. Again, we stayed home and waited it out to ensure I was no longer contagious and actually felt human before venturing out again. It also meant we postponed some plans to see friends over the first days of the holidays until I was better after Christmas.

[Photo Description: Ollie stands slightly on tip-toe to put the star on the Christmas tree himself this year! He's getting so tall and already wears a men's size 10.5 shoe, so the bone specialist says he'll be tall despite radiation potentially compressing his spine.]

We actually had a quiet, but peaceful and happy Christmas. No family up and given I was sick and there was the crazy storm that happened the 22nd to 24th, glad all our loved ones were home safe and healthy, too. We saw a few dear friends in the days after Christmas for short visits when I was feeling better, but for the most part have just rested and recharged. It's been a really busy, but productive year.

Reflecting on all that we've accomplished, there's been so much personal growth and stability for all of us together and each of us individually. It's been the year we all finally got back to the "normal" of school and work and started to have social lives beyond social media or online chats again. 

On the cancer and blindness advocacy side, we have contributed to the following (many with Ollie being directly involved and others on my own based on his story) in 2022:

- 15 Research Studies related to Pediatric Cancer, COVID-19 in immuno-compromised families and Accessibility

- Member of 3 Parent Advisory Committees for Oncology/Lymphoma, and 2 Parent Advisory Committees and 1 Board of Directors for Blindness/Accessibility 

- Shot a commercial for cancer advocacy

- Had a book written about Ollie and a book signing that raised money for CHEO

- Held a Braille Night to teach people about Braille 

- Launched the CHEO Dream Home Lottery

- 11 media interviews 

- Wrote 11 blog posts and countless social media posts related to Ollie's status, cancer, it's side effects and blindness

- Made a handful of presentations on Ollie's story and lessons learned to various organizations as requested to raise awareness

- Participated in 6 fundraisers for the various charities who have helped us

- Donated blood 4 times (every 84 days as allowed)

So we're feeling pretty great about how we've paid it forward this year, recognizing that I didn't work at all the first three months, worked part time the second the months and full-time the last 6, so it's unlikely that we'd ever have this much time again to do so much!  We have a few new commitments lined up for 2023 including work to help the new Canadian Pediatric Cancer Consortium and Leukemia and Lymphoma of Canada to revamp their programs for children and youth, in addition to some of the ongoing advisory roles. 

People often ask me where I find the time or energy, but it is literally a labour of love, has helped me to heal and find meaning in the hardships that we endured, and frankly feeds my soul so much more than watching TV in my free time would! I plan to take it a bit easier in 2023 to see what else is possible for us, but Ollie and I agree that if we're asked to help and we feel we can, we will. We respect as well that Mario and Abby have needed to take a step back and do less this year so that they can move forward in their own ways, so we do it on our own these days. 

So 2022 was extraordinary in all the best ways for us and we hope and pray that 2023 will continue to be one of happiness, healing and health. Wishing all of you so much joy in 2023! Thanks for sticking with us.

New Year, Slow Start

Happy New Year to all! It's been over a month since we last posted and we've had a slow start to the new year thanks to COVID. Given the scary increase in cases and the fact that Ollie could only get his second vaccine in mid-January and needed two weeks for it to become effective, we made the difficult decision to keep the kids home from school.

[Photo description: Ollie and Mario are outside in the snow in the backyard holding sparklers on New Year's Eve. Ollie wears an orange ski jacket and a smile while holding a lit sparkler in each hand while Mario clowns astound behind him holding one and wearing orange glow stick eyeglasses.]

To backtrack, Christmas was quiet but lovely. We hadn't expected to do much given Ollie was recovering from his eye surgery (vitrectomy and laser surgery), but have been isolating basically since December 23rd given how many of our friends were getting COVID without really understanding how they were getting it because they were doing the same things they'd been doing all fall. It became obvious to us that our risk was very high and we decided to mitigate that by going into hiding from COVID again. 

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa excitedly holding up a new Takara Tomy Beyblade on Christmas morning. Mario is seen to his right opening presents.]

Overall Ollie is doing well and his recovery from his eye surgery has been phenomenal. He had his one month post-op last week and the doctor was shocked at how well it all went and how quickly Ollie has healed. Another point scored for Abby's overachieving stem cells! He has been able to see more light and shadows lately. The other day he and I were playing with foam swords and when I was on his right he could easily find me even when I was being silent. He told me he could see me moving and my shadows in the light. 

Now we're waiting on the hospitals resuming normal surgical procedures so we can schedule the other eye. We're told it will likely be late February or early March if they can get a surgical date. I remain hopeful that his left eye will also be a vitreous detachment like his right was as opposed to the retinal detachment that they worried it might be. If this is the case, it would be amazing if he could recover some ability to see light in his left eye, too. They fear his optic nerve may be too damaged, but they also felt the same about the right one. As always Ollie's incredible ability to get through whatever challenge is thrown at him has helped him through and will no doubt continue to.

Other than the few critical medical appointments that Ollie had to attend, we've basically gone nowhere and done nothing that could be a risk for Ollie. Ollie got his second COVID vaccine on January 14th (7 weeks after his first) and because he is still considered immuno-compromised after transplant (and will be for about 3 years after) he'll need a third 4-8 weeks after his second. Because COVID cases have been rampant since the holidays, we opted to keep the kids home until Ollie's second vaccine became effective. The kids were not thrilled about it, but agreed that it was the best thing to keep Ollie safe until he was more protected.

[Photo description: Ollie gets his second COVID-19 vaccine at CHEO while wearing his red "One Year In Remission" t-shirt and a KN95 mask and holding Llama Llama Blue Pajamas for courage.]

Ollie's committed teachers all made it easier for us to do this by working together to ensure that we'd be supported while he had to be home. Ollie's amazing vision itinerant teacher agreed to teach him online each morning, getting his Math and Language curriculum from his english teacher so that she could teach these herself as well as his Braille. His french teacher posted French and Science content online for us to work on at home. His physical education teacher offered to have us come for the outdoor classes, but we opted out of these until he was fully vaccinated. Overall he's been very pragmatic about all of it because he knew we were all sacrificing to keep him safe. 

[Photo description: Ollie sits at the dining room table with his computer on the table in front of him while doing online learning. Hope lies on a dog bed at his feet on one side while Chewbacca lies on a chair on his other side.]

He's had a few online chats with friends over the past few weeks and continued to do Kids Kicking Cancer online. It has taken its toll on him though and he was astute enough to tell his psychologist this week that he felt that if he and Abby go back to school next week and we all get back to regular life everyone will argue less, be less stressed and be happier. The psychologist thought all of his observations and examples of anxiety for all of us were quite impressive for a nine year old.

[Photo description: Ollie stands on his exercise mat in the living room poised to do karate punches in front of a ring light and cell phone for his Kids Kicking Cancer online session.]

Abby's doing okay. It's been a tough few weeks for her being home and away from friends. Over the holidays she saw a couple of friends outdoors masked, but after school started we knew this was not a great idea and increased our risk. She reluctantly agreed to stay home, but begged me to allow her to go back as soon as Ollie's vaccine was effective. In truth I'd feel better if they stayed home a few more weeks until we are certain this wave is on the way out, but I can see that their mental health is suffering. In our case I think it is less about the actual isolation which we have gotten pretty good at over the past 26 months since diagnosis and more about the PTSD feelings that start to get stirred up as this feels like the scary times when he was undergoing chemo and transplant and we had to stay away from people to keep him alive. 

[Photo description: Abby and a friend have a masked visit outdoors under the outdoor heater with the fire table between them early in the new year.]

I've learned that I cannot control everything, but my risk management certification has helped me to identify what I can do to try to mitigate the risks. So I've focused the last few weeks on encouraging the school boards to allow teachers to disclose anything they know at the classroom level. The Ottawa Catholic School Board agreed last week to do this and to be honest I was less concerned about Ollie's school and community given how amazing they have been over the past two years of Ollie's illness and recovery. The Ottawa-Carleton District School Board was not so quick to agree to this. So I made a presentation at the online Board meeting (I come in at the 15:50 mark) last week thanks to a friend's suggestion.  The next day I was quoted in this Ottawa Citizen's article and I was contacted by the Director of Education's office and the school's principal to discuss ways that we could get more information to help to keep Abby safer so she is less likely to bring COVID home to Ollie.

The thing is, even if he's fully vaccinated, because of the chemotherapy, radiation and transplant, his body and organs have already been battered and I am fearful that the strain of COVID (even a potentially "milder" variant) on his body could cause further issues such as multi-system inflammatory syndrome in children (MIS-C). We can't forget that due to his treatments he also has problems with his endocrine system that is causing hypothyroidism and osteoporosis in his back and hip and that he remains on a t-cell kinase inhibitor (TKI) drug that elevates his liver enzymes. While his kidneys and heart appear healthy in all recent tests, it is possible that COVID could change that given his medical history. And we all know about the ongoing reporting of "underlying health conditions" and "comorbidities" when it comes to COVID. It actually really makes me mad when people try to explain away COVID in vulnerable people by saying that they aren't sick or dying from COVID, but from these underlying health issues. The fact remains that at the moment my son is well despite all odds and if he were to get COVID and get sick again, it's because of COVID not because of the cancer he had. Without COVID those who are vulnerable can remain well. You can't excuse COVID for the damage it causes, even in those with previous or underlying health issues.

[Photo description: Ollie and his CNIB Buddy Dog Hope pose while on a walk at the snowy Experimental Farm at sunset. Ollie wears an orange ski jacket and black snow pants and holds his white cane in one hand and Hope's leash in his other. Hope sits at his feet.]

So we've worked out plans at both schools. Letters have been sent home to Abby's class and to Ollie's entire school to remind them that there is an immuno-compromised kid in the community whose safety depends on disclosure. I've also heard from several parents of Abby's new friends at her new middle school whom I didn't know before. They saw my plea to the Board and reached out to tell me that they will help to keep her safe and will let me know if they hear of anyone else in the class being sick, too. I am grateful for their kindness. I've had a lot of similar messages from the parents at Ollie's school, too. As always, we are so grateful for the village that helps us to raise our children. 

If you have a child in school right now and they become ill with any serious illness, please let your child's school know so that they can keep kids like Ollie safe. We don't know who is sick (unless the parents disclose directly to us) and are absolutely praying that your kid recovers quickly and fully both for your sake and for ours. As the mother of a cancer and stem cell transplant survivor, I can absolutely tell you that I will never judge you for your child's exposure to illness and never want you to go through the agony of seeing your child suffer from a serious illness the way that we have. 

In other news, right after Christmas CBC Radio's Ottawa Morning aired the story of Ollie getting back on his skateboard after going blind. He was really proud of this interview and what he's accomplished with his instructor Jordan at The Yard. CBC also tweeted a short video of him on his board. He is a complete marvel.

[Photo description: A masked Ollie sits on a bench made out of snowboards next to his masked skateboard instructor Jordan while being interviewed by Denise Fung of CBC Radio for the Ottawa Morning piece. Ollie wears his skateboarding shoes and pads and holds his white cane with a large red rolling ball tip while Jordan still wears his pads and helmet. Denise is kneeling nearby and holding a recording device and microphone.]

Ollie is also participating for his second year in the Snow Angels for CHEO fundraiser to raise money for the Oncology Ward (4 North) and the Medical Day Unit (MDU) at CHEO. The idea is that you do a snow angel in your bathing suit and get others to pledge/donate when you do. Snow Angels in your bathing suit are optional and last year Ollie was just out of transplant, so paranoid mom wouldn't allow him to do one that way with organizer Roland and fellow CHEO kid Jakob. I promised him if he was well enough this year he could. Ollie loves a challenge, especially a physical one that makes him feel really alive, so he begged me to let him do it this year. On the day we got 40+ centimetres of fresh snow and it was -4 versus the -20 it had been for days, I finally caved and let him do his snow angel in his bathing suit. There is nothing this kid wouldn't do to help others survive what he has. If you are able to donate we'd so appreciate it! 

[Photo description: Ollie does a snow angel in his bathing suit in the backyard on fresh fluffy snow in balmy -4 weather for the Snow Angels for CHEO 2022 Campaign]

On Monday, January 31st the kids were excited and treat to go back despite mom's reservations and anxiety about it. Both got up and eagerly got ready. Just as Abby was eating breakfast we got a call from her principle saying that someone in her class had a positive COVID test on Sunday night. Abby was very upset, but grudgingly accepted her fate and grumpily stayed home. She'll be home the rest of the week and if there are no other cases in her classroom she can try again next Monday. She was naturally upset that Ollie could go, but as we explained to her he was actually less risk since he was going to be one on one with his Vision Itinerant teacher and Abby had been the one that got him all excited Abbott going back afar he was okay with being home, st we couldn't take that away from him, too. She said it was unfair, but did admit that she knew he'd been home for two solid years without daily interaction with friends already. We told them both that none of what we're been through the past 26 months is fair, but we still have to keep going and make the best of a bad situation. 

We are grateful to Abby's classmate's family for disclosing and even more so to her classmate themself who actually sent a message to her entire class on Snapchat to let them all know she was positive. Abby read us the comments. Every one of them was kind, wishing that the classmate would quickly recover, not have serious illness and be back with them soon. Imagine if all of us did that for each other instead of stigmatizing others for having it? It's everywhere now and even people we know who have been so careful have it and are unsure how, so no point in blaming people for living and getting sick - we all used to, remember?! Also hope that this is a lesson to parents with older kids to encourage that their kids share that they are sick with classmates so they can keep reach other safe, too. We didn't used to hide that we had the flu or colds from each other, so why would we for COVID? Having just been through one of the most personal illnesses I can ever imagine having, I can assure you that being open and honest with your community about your family's illness will enable all of you to keep each other safer and back on the road to wellness.

[Photo description: Dawn and Ollie sit in the sofa while Hope has flopped down in between them and is lying on her back with her nose in the air and her feet up in a submissive pose.]

I'm scared about the next transitions that COVID will bring, but we survived the almost unfathomable things that we did, so we'll weather whatever comes next. Sending you all best wishes for a healthy and happy 2022. It's got to be better than the last two for all of us!

Vale annus horribilis (Goodbye horrible year)!

Like everyone else, with it being New Year's we are looking back and reviewing the year we've had. Many many times in the last weeks I've reflected on the happenings of 2020 and re-read my blog posts from the past year. Often they caused tears to stream uncontrollably. Sometimes they brought laughter over the unbelievable absurdity of what our life has been like this year. Always they inspired gratitude for all that we have overcome with your help.

Last New Year's Eve Ollie and I had just been admitted to CHEO for round 2 of chemo.

While it's true that we have had a pretty rough 2020, we are ending it with all we need - namely our family together, happy and healthy. Sadly we know families that had a much worse year than we did and have lost so much, like their innocent babies being taken prematurely by cancer and loved ones who succumbed to COVID-19. Our hearts have ached from their losses and our prayers have begged for their healing. Thankfully we also know many strong families who have overcome critical illnesses and their side effects to finally arrive on the path to wellness. 

 Family together after Ollie's successful engraftment during his stem cell transplant.

When I asked Ollie if there was anything special he'd like for New Year's Eve, he asked for a vanilla cake with sprinkles. Fortunately this proved easy to find through Instacart when we ordered groceries. The shopper asked if we'd like to have anything written on it. It seemed to us to be apropos to eat a "Goodbye 2020" cake. This year we have gotten our cake and tonight we ate it, too. 

We also let Ollie blow out "20" candles and make a wish to usher out the worst year of our lives. Again this seems completely right given this past week was actually his half birthday (when they were little we used to celebrate half birthdays because a year was too long to wait for cake!) and technically 6 months in remission for him and in a mere three weeks it'll be 6 months post-transplant. If those aren't reasons to grant the kid a wish, I don't know what would be.

As we ate cake, we talked about what we are grateful for this year and our biggest lessons learned. Here are our lists:

Ollie:

1. I am grateful for my family and friends who love me and helped me to get well.

2. I learned to be grateful even though my treatments were hard because many people don't survive cancer and I did.

3. I am grateful for chicken burgers.

4. I am grateful for my sister who saved me so I can still love AND annoy her! 😝

 Abby finally reunited with Ollie after he relapsed in his brain and finally got out of ICU. This was the day we went to have our blood tests done to see who would be the match for Ollie's stem cell transplant. Abby always said it would be her.

Abby:

1. I have learned that we should all be grateful for what we have today, because tomorrow is uncertain.

2. I have learned about and am grateful for makeup which has been a good diversion for me this year.

3. I am grateful that I still have my brother.

4. I have learned what is really important in life - being part of a family that loves each other.

5. I am grateful that none of us have gotten COVID-19 and passed it on to Ollie.

6. I am grateful for friends who have loved me and made me part of their family this year when mine couldn't always be together.

Family Day in February 2020. First time we'd all been together in over a month. Longest time we'd ever been apart and worst month of our lives.

Mario:

1. I have learned patience.

2. I am grateful for the family that I have.

3. I am grateful for the people around the world, some who I have never met, who cared about and prayed for my family.

The family in Toronto after Abby donated her stem cells and Ollie relapsed in his brain again. Waiting for a new drug to work (it didn't, but later going home for radiation and another new drug did) and trying to make the best of things while we waited and prayed for our miracle.

Dawn:

1. I am grateful to God for saving Ollie with the help of medicine, science and Abby's stem cells.

2. I always worried that Mario or I would become very ill and wondered how we'd weather it without family nearby, but have learned how incredible our friends, family and community are and that they have our backs and have been and will be there when we need them.

3. I am grateful for people who love my children like their own. For those that came to the hospital even when I know it was hard to see Ollie so sick and for those that lovingly watched over Abby and got her through tough times when I couldn't be there. 

4. I have learned that Nurses, Doctors and medical staff are superheroes in scrubs. That they are dependable, nurturing and truly care about their patients and their families. That when you use your voice in a positive, yet assertive way, the best ones will listen and let you help them to save your loved one.

5. I have learned that you can get used to living under the most stressful and bizarre circumstances if you stay hopeful and focused on getting through the next thing you need to do and not look beyond today. As a former strategic planner who is always focussed on long term goals this one was really hard for me.

6. I have learned how strong we all are, yet how important it also is to let yourself be vulnerable and feel your feelings. That feeling and showing them to others are signs of strength, not weakness.

Nurse Joan at Sick Kids Hospital supported us through Abby's 5 hour stem cell donation process. 

Jenna and Vic visit Ollie when he was in the ICU and Abby and Mario had strep throat and couldn't come. I was so grateful for them and two other dear friends who came in our darkest hours and supported us.

Not surprisingly, we're not sad to see 2020 leave as it truly has been our "annus horriblis", but we also realize that we have learned many important lessons and received many blessings this year because of our struggles. 

Wishing all of us a 2021 filled with love, laughter, joy and health!

New Year, New Outlook

Ringing in the new year with apple juice and sparkling grape juice in fancy glasses. He was asleep by 9 after chemo and Gravol. I was asleep by 11 pm. Party animals!

Happy New Year! 

Each New Year people make resolutions they often don't follow through on, and spend time looking back and taking stock. As a planner, I love to look at what I've learned to-date, celebrate successes and plan a path forward to achieve more, but I don't believe in making resolutions. I make commitments every day and do everything I can to follow through on them when I make them. I am teaching my kids to do same. 

So on this New Year's day 2020 I commit to getting my son well this year, keeping my little family together physically and emotionally as much as I can, and taking care of me as much as is possible so that at the end of all of this I don't crash physically or mentally. At this time I know I can't take on more than that and feel bad about it, but hope others will understand given our situation. 

The last few days as we started round 2 have been difficult. The chemo is going okay , although Ollie was sick the first night, so we have kept on top of the nausea since and taken the Gravol when needed to keep him comfortable during chemo. The chemo itself happens every day he is in hospital and, takes about an hour by IV each day for 5 days. The rest of the day he just gets hydration on his IV, so he's always connected to his line there and drags a pole and pump around everywhere. 

It's his mental state that has been challenging lately. He is fighting being back at CHEO every step of the way and insistent he is going home TODAY no matter what we say. The oncologist suggested we involve the social worker more and honestly after his last fight, I needed to talk to her for my own mental stability. 

She acknowledged that my concern about his mental state and getting through this is a common concern of parents going through cancer with their kids. She also shared that there is a lot of research on childhood trauma and kids' ability to bounce back from it that shows that overwhelmingly they do as long as they still have positivity in their lives. Also that most kids come out of this stronger and more grateful. She told me he seems to be teetering between denial and grief for the loss of his normal life. His reaction is more extreme than most. He's always been a highly sensitive kid and needed routines to anchor his days and notice of change to transition well into whatever comes next. 

The social worker, child life team and the psychologist will be working with us gong forward to help Ollie with the transition to get to acceptance and less post traumatic stress reactions (and it could actually be PTSD as kids suffering from critical illnesses often have it even during their treatment, not just after). Oh the lessons we are learning...

So this is our time to focus on our family and put all of our energies there. A good friend and former teacher of Abby's sent me a lovely message when we got the diagnosis. She said our family is always giving and helping where we can, but now is our time to receive and we need to let people help us. Giving has always been easier than receiving for me. Although, I once had a dear friend accuse me of being self-involved and it hurt me deeply because I always considered myself to be a giving and caring person. In the end that friendship fizzled despite my trying harder to be a better friend. Through the experience I realized maybe it was more about that friend and their neediness than it was about me. 

Another dear friend who went through the cancer journey with her mom a few years ago today reminded me that, "You are saving your son's life..." and, "You can do this, but you need to give yourself permission to take what you need." She is a very wise woman and so incredibly giving to those she loves. 

So we have started the New Year as we finished the last, taking care of our little family, but now looking beyond just our physical needs. 

Daddy spends time with Ollie in hospital, which helps Ollie to escape reality a bit as he is better at play than mommy.

Abby spends girl time with Mommy to ensure she knows how important she still is despite Ollie's treatments.

Wishing you all a 2020 filled with joy and good physical and mental health!