One Year Reflection by Ollie

Today is my one year anniversary of my diagnosis. I'm feeling kind of stressed today. 

I got frustrated, mad and sad trying to do my schoolwork today that felt too hard. And then I cried a little and it was okay. The crying sometimes makes things feel better.

I loved getting new Beyblades this year. They helped me get through all of the needles and scary stuff. The hardest part of the past year was really needles and dressing changes.

I don't feel scared anymore when I have to go to CHEO. This is because I learned to take deep breaths and calm myself down when I get needles. 

I'm okay with my blindness now. It made me feel scared and mad at first that I couldn't see. I just decided to accept that I'm going to be blind. I'm still the same even though I'm blind. So far there's not really anything I can't do.

I want to say thank you to everybody who got me through this. Thanks for all of your help and kindness. And thank you for all of the gifts.

Cancer's ass has been kicked (this is the one bad word my dad let me use this year)!

(Note from Dawn that this is a transcript of exactly what Ollie told me he wanted to say.)

"If I can do four, I can do two."

Not a lot of time to write this morning as we ready for the hospital, but wanted to share Ollie's state of mind.

He woke at 5:30 and couldn't sleep anymore. He's been sleeping with one of us since his biopsy because we are worried. He was with Mario last night. So Ollie crawled into bed with me this morning, saying he couldn't sleep anymore. So we talked about what would happen today when they do the MRI, insert the PICC line where he'll get his meds and the chemo. 

While we were doing this, Chewbacca the cat came over and lay half on Ollie's chest and began to putt. This is incredible as he usually hangs out near Ollie, by but never on him as Ollie is too unpredictable and moves all the time. Even Ollie recognized the significance of this. The cat was comforting him and making him strong. 

When I asked him if he was afraid, he asked me if he was going to have more than one needle today and I said likely two. He had four yesterday and replied, "Nah...If I can do four, I can do two." 

We got this. More later...