Racing Lives, Hearts and Go Karts

Our family always seemed to be racing somewhere before cancer. As much as we tried to keep things manageable in terms of work, school, lessons and daily activities, I never felt like we had enough time to just be. To be together, be happy, be mindful, be present. I think COVID-19 has made a lot of families realize that their insane day to day pace was not the greatest for their family. We started learning this about a year ago as the kids were going back to school, we were working (I was actually in full time French class for work) and we were trying to figure out what that darn bump on Ollie's neck was. The stress of it all was unbearable. 

You'd think I'd feel more stressed now after my son had cancer for the last year and almost died, but honestly I was more stressed then, knowing something was wrong and feeling like there was never enough time to figure it out quickly and work our life around it. Soon it became our life and everything else was unimportant. We worked the rest of our life around our family and around cancer. Furthermore, COVID-19 took away the need and really the desire to race anywhere. 

I've been thinking about this because we took Ollie Go Karting last weekend. We wanted to show Ollie that despite COVID-19 and him being immuno-compromised, we can still have (safe) fun. We called ahead to the Centennial Mini-Indy to verify how busy it was and ensure we could get a side by side racer so that our blind Mario Andretti could really feel that he was in the driver's seat and not just a little kid riding with their parent. The staff there were amazing and so kind. They accommodated Ollie's every need from extra care to sanitize things to more time to get in and out of the kart. We used a ton of surface and hand sanitizer and we were off to the races! 

I was behind the boys and was able to watch Ollie spinning that wheel like his life depended on it. When I got close I heard Mario yelling, "LEFT! LEFT! RIGHT! STRAIGHT!" at each bend in the road while Ollie either yelled that his dad was horrible at giving directions or just laughed out loud. At one point I slowed right down to take a picture of them and to wipe my eyes, because I was so happy to see him just being a normal kid that my eyes were leaking. 😭

 

The adrenaline of it was a great release for all of us and a reminder of how many bends and bumps in the road we've had, but gotten around. It also brought to mind the rat race that was our life before cancer. I recalled how the constant adrenaline of running around pre-cancer felt, how the adrenaline from fear during cancer felt and the incredible contrast of our very calm life now as we simply live and heal. I think the only race I want to be in from now on, though, is on the Go Kart track.

Ollie has been wanting to play a lot and frankly, it's not something I'm always great at unless we're at an amusement park, so I brought in some help with games like "Don't Step In It". This is a great equalizer for Ollie because you wear a blindfold (or Dad and I did since he's already blind) and try not to step in poop-shaped playdough. So we're all blind and it has poop in it. Every 8-year old boy's idea of fun! 

We also bought a Hot Wheels track where you launch cars and try to jump them into a scale at the end. Ollie is highly competitive and loves stuff like this. It also gets him down on the floor and moving his body up and down with his own strength, which he couldn't do for the 5 months before transplant!

We've finally got his sleep back on track! Not allowing him to have long naps during the day (1-2 hours max if he needs it, but often he doesn't anymore!) has helped him to be tired by or before his 9 pm meds. He's then sleeping through the night and waking about 7 or 8 am! This has made a world of difference for all of us. He still loves us to make an "Ollie sandwich" when he's falling sleep, though! 😄

He's doing amazingly well. So sometimes it feels wrong. How can things be going so well for us when the past year has so often gone wrong and atypically?! Unfortunately because you've come to expect it and are likely suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), you're still on high alert for trouble, even though you are constantly trying to convince yourself to calm down and not overreact. 

For example, two weeks ago before Abby left for Ottawa, she pointed out what looked like a mosquito bite or a pimple on the back of his head. This is exactly how Ollie's bump on his neck that turned out to be Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma began. I reassured her that it was only a pimple and tried to forget about it, but my eyes and my hand have been constantly drawn to it, wondering, worrying. Last weekend it suddenly looked bigger and very red. I panicked and consulted my expert ALCL mama friends. They tried to reassure me that it was likely nothing, but both told me to contact the doctor to ease my mind. I talked to Mario about it and stressed him out, too. I sent a message to the bone marrow transplant doctors, asking for a scan this week to rule out it. The doctor promised we'd talk about it on Tuesday at Ollie's check in. I prayed so hard again. Please don't let the lymphoma be back!! By Tuesday it was reduced and almost gone. Just a pimple as his hair is growing back and sometimes clogging follicles.

 He's also had some eye irritation and sometimes pain in the past few days. It would be very easy to leap to the conclusion that he had lymphoma in his brain again given we've seen this twice already, but when we calmed Ollie down and tried flushing his eye out, we realized his eyelashes (that fell out after radiation and chemo pre-transplant) are growing back in and their stubbiness is poking his eyeball and irritating it. 

He's also had a loose tooth for weeks, but in hospital post-transplant they told him not to play with it as they were worried with his platelets low that if he pulled it out it wouldn't clot easily and he could have a hard time stopping the bleeding. So he left it, but it was becoming really annoying to him. On the weekend he decided to play with it and kept asking if he could pull it out. Even though his platelets and blood counts are way up and actually normal, we didn't know what would happen if he did pull it out. He kept pushing it with his tongue and finally popped it right out. A bit of gauze in his mouth for a few minutes showed only a very tiny amount of blood and it clotted in mere minutes. Normal. Not cause for alarm or stress at all.

We have to take every little thing seriously, without overreacting, but I am struggling to balance my emotional reaction with my rationality sometimes. So I'm going to see a psychologist virtually to help me deal with what I suspect is PTSD. There's no shame in it because I have proven how strong I am over the last year to myself and now I need to make sure I've worked through all of it so I can keep moving forward without a constant sense of fear, dread or escalated alarm. As I told Mario and Ollie when we went Go Karting and told Abby every time we went out somewhere in Toronto, we have to LIVE. We've fought so hard to save his life and now we all have to enjoy living life together.

Ollie wants to live. He's interested in doing and trying everything. He's finding new skills and strengths (he can balance almost anything on his head! 😄).

He asked for a chess set and I ran around downtown Toronto trying to find one on Labour Day. He played against Daddy, telling me where to move after we told him where Daddy's pieces were and where his were. It was amazing to see what he could picture and keep in his head. He really shocks me daily. How does a kid who's had 19 sessions of radiation and 6 rounds of chemo remember anything?! You hear of chemo brain and there are moments when he needs short term information repeated, but most of the time he is still sharp as a tack.

Mario also finally acknowledged that his COVID hair had to follow the former COVID beard. Ollie wanted to help. We forgot to bring the clipper guides, though, so Mario really got his money's worth on this one! 😄

Now they can both balance and stick things on their heads! 😜

Ollie is his usual silly self now. Wanting to retry everything. Constant pranks. Laughing at the idea of wearing my glasses because he can't see anyways...

We're connecting with his virtual teacher and his Vision Itinerant teacher and he's getting ready to be a real student again. It'll be a tricky transition after very little formal instruction over the past year. As I told him, he's wicked smart.and can do it. 

We listened to the book, "Who Was Helen Keller?" on Audible and he grudgingly admitted she was pretty impressive and did so much with even greater challenges (in some ways) than he's had to deal with. He agreed that if Helen Keller could deal with being deaf AND blind, he can certainly learn blind.

On Tuesday (Day +50 post transplant) at our appointment at Sick Kids, we were delighted to see Dr. Bader who had been one of our many dedicated oncologists on 4 North at CHEO. He has a tremendous bedside manner and has always been so patient and kind with Ollie. He's doing a rotation at Sick Kids and was excited to see Ollie doing so well. 

His bone marrow transplant doctor, Dr. Ali came in and reassured me that medically Ollie is well and doing better than expected. There is no sign of Graft Versus Host Disease, he's fully engrafted with three chimerism tests of 100% and his counts remain high and normal now. I joked that Abby had said the night before his first chimerism test that her stem cells were likely overachievers. He laughed and said they certainly were and they'd rarely seen a half match transplant go this well. And then he said he'd talked to our CHEO team and they all agreed that there's no medical reason for us to stay longer and we could go home THIS WEEK!!! I was elated and scared all at the same time. 

They originally told us 6-8 weeks in hospital for transplant (we were 5) and at least a month nearby after transplant (it's been 2.5 weeks). Can we really be ready to go home?! We're uncharacteristically ahead...atypical again, but finally in the best way! We've all been pretty emotional over the last 24 hours.

So we're heading back to Ottawa this weekend! I was out running an errand yesterday and all of a sudden became overwhelmed with emotion. I started to sob and had to pull the car over. It's done, I kept thinking (not really, but this part I was so afraid would never happen has been a success add we got through it all). It's real. He's better every day. We kicked the lymphoma in the teeth just like we promised. As usual I get done the hard thing and break down after everything is okay.

On a last happy note and with her permission, I want to share my pride in Catherine Nava. As many of you know, the Navas are dear family friends who have been amazing to us throughout this journey. We got to know them through Francesca who has been one of Abby's dearest friends since Kindergarten. Catherine babysat for us in the past. We have known her for the past 7 years and watched her become an impressive and caring young woman. She's thinking about a career in nursing. She'd be incredible. Every single time Ollie asked her to come and see him in  hospital or at our house, she dropped everything and came. Her maturity (she's 17) and compassion in helping him throughout his battle have touched me deeply. 

Just when I thought I couldn't love and admire her more, she goes and gets registered to be on the stem cell donor registry because of Ollie and Abby!!! My eyes are leaking again! ❤ Please raise amazing humans like Catherine (kudos to her devoted parents). Our future is secure if there are more like her out there.

My heart is full. I am so very grateful to  God, everyone at Sick Kids, Toronto, and everyone who supported us in this part of the journey. Toronto definitely redeemed itself for us this second successful attempt at a stem cell transplant. We're sorry that COVID and our need to keep Ollie safe have kept us from being able to see dear friends who live here and have checked in regularly to offer assistance and support. Your willingness to help was enough and so appreciated. We'll come back for a great visit when COVID is gone for good. 

Watch out, Ottawa! We're coming back! 

Blessedly Boring/Normal

DAY +7...One week ago today Ollie had a stem cell transplant. The time is actually passing by pretty quickly!

Ollie has charmed the nurses and doctors and convinced them to let him help to take his own vital signs. LOL. So now he knows how to use a stethoscope, take his own blood pressure, take his temperature and his pulse. School of life indeed...

This guy has honestly been a total trooper. He's been amazingly positive and patient. Not feeling cooped up or tortured at all. 

I honestly had been worried that mentally and physically this time would be hard for him. In his clinic visits three weeks ago he had been angry and difficult. But in all fairness he was still on the Dexamethasone steroid and was scared about having to be back in hospital. As a side note since stopping the Dex and having more radiation and chemo with no appetite, he's lost about 5 kilograms (about 11 pounds). He had gained so much unnecessary weight on the drugs before, but we are grateful for that extra weight right now so he's not all skin and bones the way he was when he was in ICU and didn't eat for 17 days.

Prior to transplant he likely also picked up on the anxiety that the rest of us had been feeling about the possibility of him relapsing before getting the transplant. Now we're all pretty relaxed in comparison and that's bound to rub off on him, too.

His days have been surprisingly full. Like our time at CHEO, there are many experts and services coming and going daily and they all seem to come at the same time! 🕑

He had a super fun visit with one of Sick Kids' clowns the other day! A. Leboo came to see him and said he had heard that there was a friend of Molly Penny's (the beloved CHEO clown who is also in our mast head photo on this blog) at Sick Kids and any friend of Molly Penny's was a friend of his! He had a fun chat with Ollie about things he liked to do and naturally that lead into a long and technical discussion about Beyblades. A. Leboo listened enraptured and promised to come back another day and play with Ollie. Sick Kids has a television channel and their clowns and child life team broadcast programming live several times a day, so he encouraged Ollie to call in and win a prize one day soon.

His sleep cycles are getting more regular now, too. He still sometimes has a late afternoon nap, but sleeps all night other than getting up a couple of times to go to the bathroom. 

He has had bouts of diarrhea, but this is normal for him during and post- chemo and apparently normal while undergoing transplant and not eating much solid food. 

He's also started to get the typical post-chemo mucusitus mouth sores again, so they'll monitor his pain over the next few days and give him morphine as needed. At about this time they're looking for possible fevers again which may be a sign of Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) and Tylenol can mask fevers. I do still find it bizarre that there is nothing pediatric cancer patients can take for pain between Tylenol and Morphine.

He's also experiencing some preliminary skin issues post-chemo. Fortunately we've seen this before and knew exactly what we needed to ask for. 

The CriticAid and Triad Hydrophilic Wound Dressing are fixing him right up and no more pain under his underarm. 

This stuff is magic...it was the solution we used last time when his skin was sloughing off of his body and he had burns from the medical tape combined with chemo. And you can actually buy it on Amazon...

Overall his energy level is good. He wants to get up and sit in the chair, play, march on the spot and do sit stands when he feels well enough. Physio came by to encourage exercise, but unlike CHEO they just come when there's an issue as opposed to proactively seeing the patient weekly to encourage and monitor progress or deconditioning. Thank goodness we already have an exercise plan from working virtually with his outpatient physiotherapist, Allison.

On Thursday and Saturday nights Mario spent the night with Ollie to give them and Abby and I more time together. She's been interested in seeing more of Toronto since most of the times we've been here were to visit family or just quick stops on the way through en route to see my family in Southwestern Ontario. 

So Saturday late afternoon after the heat dissipated a bit, she and I walked down to the CN Tower and back (about 5 km round trip). It was fun to play tourist and see the sights on the way, like Roy Thompson Hall.

On the way we walked along Canada's Walk of Fame. It was a cool way to teach Abby about some Canadian Greats. We also saw the theatre where Come From Away was staged pre-COVID. We hope to get back to see it or maybe see it at the NAC when the rescheduled production comes to Ottawa finally.

We walked by the Rogers Centre. It was pretty quiet there.

On the way back we popped into Union Station to see the beautifully restored main hall. I spent so many hours here in University waiting for trains back and forth to Chatham. It feels like a million years ago.

Beyblades and Lego continue to occupy time in hospital and entertain Ollie. He's especially good at trash talking Mom and Dad when they are opposing him in battle. Justified since he always wins I guess.

He still gets mad at me for being the big bad cancer mom who makes him do all of the cancer things...

But there are beautiful moments when I know he understands all that we are doing to save him.

Music therapy hasn't officially started yet, but he was excited to tickle the ivories. To my great surprise he even remembered the first few songs that his patience personified piano teacher (and family friend) Lucie taught him and just like before cancer he delighted in playing and singing at the same time. He had no problem finding the keys and begged to learn new material. Music therapy is going to be awesome!

Today his counts were quite low, which is normal post-radiation, -chemo and -transplant. So he had a plasma transfusion...

And a blood transfusion and was pretty tired after, but bouncing back tonight. One of the most beautiful and lifesaving gifts you can give to a cancer family like ours is to donate blood products or get swabbed to join the bone marrow/stem cell registry. Both take a small amount of time and it means everything when your child needs these lifesaving gifts. For more information, please visit blood.ca. 

That's it for us right now. Blessedly normal and typical. I've never been so relieved to be normal and boring in my entire life. Stay tuned...

We'll take all of the therapies!

Days +2 and +3 have been good. Ollie has been in good spirits and chatting away happily to all of the nurses who are in and out of his room. Three weeks ago I was convinced that being cooped up in a room like this was going to be a nightmare. Now, although I know we've only been admitted for a week on Friday so far, I can see he's going to make the best of it.

He's still experiencing some nausea, so they're trying to keep him comfortable with meds, but it also means he's not eating much. The TPN liquid nutrition is helping to give him the energy he needs to feel well while the stem cells are battling his body for possession. 

We've all been sleeping better the last two nights. We're starting to settle into a new normal and are more relaxed now that he's gotten the transplant and all we can do is stay calm and wait for them to graft.

On Wednesday Mario and I had a meeting with the Pediatric Advanced Care (PAC) Team while the Child Life Specialist, Maddie visited with Ollie. Like the palliative care team at CHEO, this team supports families, not just at end of life, but through any difficulties. Given they knew how challenging Ollie's path has been, that we're far from home and I've requested consults with social work, psychology, physiotherapy and virtually any other therapy they can give us to help us physically and mentally, they reached out to see how we're doing and what they can do for us. 

Essentially they told us we were doing a "remarkable" job under incredibly difficult circumstances and they gave us kudos saying that many of their patient families come to them with few coping mechanisms and they generally spend a lot of time helping them develop some. In our case, they've suggested we continue to take advantage of the social work and psychology services and suggested we try Art and Music therapies to keep Ollie busy and positive.

Today he had art therapy! I am not one who typically enjoys arts and crafts (that's more Mario's speed with the kids), but I've got to say, it was fun! He got to use modeling clay and make whatever he wanted. Naturally he made Beyblades. LOL We'll show you the finished product next week when they've hardened and he paints them. He'll have an art therapy session every Thursday. And tonight the music therapist stopped by to drop off a full size keyboard/portable piano for him (Sherri and Lucie, maybe he will be the next Stevie Wonder or Ray Charles!)! He'll start music therapy Monday and can also choose to learn other instruments (Allie, and cousin Cadence he's keen to learn Ukulele because of you!). What a phenomenal way to spend time in the hospital (although our poor neighbour, Zach and his mom may not be as thrilled)!

Thursday was another day of chemo. This may seem counterintuitive given he already had some before transplant, but it ensures that there remains "room" in his bone marrow for her new stem cells to take root and graft. He'll also get the Psyclophosphate chemo again tomorrow.

His platelets were also low (22), so he got a plasma transfusion to enable his body to continue grafting. As always I was grateful for yet another life saving gift some beautiful and generous person gave him.

I also learned today that there are different charts for who you can give and receive blood vs.plasma from. Typically as an A+, Ollie can't get AB+ blood (they stripped Abby's B cells out of her stem cells so they wouldn't be rejected by Ollie given she's AB+). But the rules for plasma are different and he can get plasma from ANY other type with his blood type. He got AB+ plasma today, so another kind soul with Abby's same blood type saved him, too. 

The Chaplain also paid Ollie and I a visit today based on our conversation with PAC about the role that our faith was playing in our day to day management of stress and how it has been enabling us to stay hopeful even on really bad days. 

Mario came tonight to stay overnight and give me a night away from the hospital. As always it's nice to get a break and to spend time with Abby, but it's always hard not to be with him. In the photo above taken just outside of 8B (which is the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit), if you count buildings on the left, the first is the wing where Ollie's room is at Sick Kids, and two buildings down from there is our condo. So I am comforted knowing that were sleeping just a short walk from each other and I could be there in less than 5 minutes if needed.

We're trying to inject a bit more summer fun into Abby's days to keep her positive. So she and I went down to the terrace to get her some fresh air and bbq dinner. It was really windy so we took silly selfies.

I am deliriously happy to report that the first three days post-transplant, when I was worried about fever and him feeling super ill post-radiation and chemo have been bearable and less difficult than I thought they'd be. 

Onward and upward to health and wellness!

Bubble Family and a CNIB Dog

Radiation planning happened last Friday. It was a difficult morning because Ollie was feeling stressed. Although he'd been to Princess Margaret Hospital for radiation planning before, this time he was not sedated. All they really needed to do was take a CT of him on his back with his head to one side and his front with his head to one side, but he fought it every step of the way. 

For the total body radiation that he'll have twice a day for three days next week, he'll be on a mattress on the floor. They basically "tent" the radiation beam over his entire body. Twenty minutes on his back, then he can take a break, go to the bathroom, stretch or whatever he needs for a few minutes, followed by twenty minutes on his front doing same. He cried that he couldn't be on his stomach with his head turned to one side for 20 whole minutes! He did eventually get the 3 minute CT done on his front last week, but it was a battle. 

So we've been practicing at home since and that little devil insisted on doing it for the full 20 minutes the first time with no problems then or since! He'll be fine once we get into the groove, but I'm not looking forward to the twice a day and having to lie around in a room in the Sick Kids Day Hospital in between. If he feels well enough, he'll come back to our condo each of the three nights.

We've had his check up with the Bone Marrow Transplant team and his levels are good, all the tests we did last week came back clear and he's ready for transplant. I've signed a pile of consents for his radiation, chemo and transplant. They tell you all of the risks including the mortality rate from transplant (5-10%), but as I told Dr. Ali, it's not like we have another choice if we want to save him and if I had believed the statistics the last time I was with him when Ollie relapsed, I wouldn't have believed he'd have made it back here to transplant at all. He laughed and conceded the point, saying how impressive it was that he was back and healthier and stronger than the last time. I told them not to underestimate my boy.

His new hydrocortisone steroid is making him quite sleepy during the day, so he maps a lot and he sleeps only about 5-6 hours at night. We're adjusting his dosage and timing in hopes we can fix this.

Ollie's been begging to see grandparents, so Gamma (my mom) and Bumpa (my stepdad) became part of our bubble the last few days, driving up from Blenheim to spend time with us. It's been 6 months since we last saw them at Christmas. That was after round 1 of chemo when Ollie was still his active and sighted self. So much has changed since then, but not our joy at being with them.

It's the first time since COVID that any of us have touched or hugged anyone but our little family. The kids were so happy. And I was grateful to have my mom with me. As a mother going through one of the most difficult things one could imagine as a mother, I have found myself often wishing that my own mother lived closer. She has been a constant support through this, calling and texting almost daily, reminding me to take care of myself too, her and Carl sending packages and money regularly for whatever we need. 

She's told me more times in the past 9 months how strong I am and how proud she is of me than I think she has my entire life. I've been a strong and independent woman since I left home for university, always wanting to do things on my own. The few times I have asked my mom for help (mostly to come and care for the kids for a few days when we didn't have childcare, when I had Ollie, etc.) she always agreed to come. Every time we have invited Gamma and Bumpa to meet us somewhere for a vacation, they have. 

They are excellent grandparents and my children adore them. This visit didn't disappoint either. They arrived loaded with groceries and many gifts from my aunts and cousins. 

They were simply happy to do whatever we needed and the kids wanted while they were here. From my always hustling and bustling mom taking time to play Beyblades and Connect Four with Ollie...

...to them both patiently learning Braille while professor Ollie taught them, Gamma and Bumpa made time for what is most important. They took walks with Abby and asked Ollie many questions about his Beyblades so he could demonstrate his expertise.

Bumpa has infinite patience and was great at giving Ollie clear directions to build Lego. And I can tell you it is not easy to give a blind person specific instructions that help them to see with their hands...especially with something as small and intricate as Lego. 

Abby was so happy to be with them, too. She's getting better about her fear around COVID thanks to working on it with her social worker. 

We assured her before Gamma and Bumpa came that they were socially distancing and wearing masks everywhere in public and that Chatham-Kent had less than a handful of cases left and had only ever had a few dozen in total during its height. 

She was happy and silly during their visit and my heart felt happy to see her being a normal kid.

Bumpa is also pretty great at bringing out their silly sides...

We also had our phone interview for the CNIB Buddy Dog Program on Monday. We were fascinated to learn more about the Guide and Buddy Dog Programs, especially the fact that most of their dogs are bred in Australia, placed with families in Canada to be socialized and conditioned before actually being trained as Guide Dogs in Carleton Place, and that the CNIB pays for all of their food, vet bills, etc. even when they are finally placed with their ultimate owners! We were shocked, but grateful and intend to be regular donors to CNIB when we're both back to work.   

We made it onto the waiting list and they offered us the chance to meet one of their dogs in the Ambassador Program. Given Ollie is psyched about getting his Buddy Dog and we know the next weeks will be long and difficult, we want to bring him as much joy and stimulation as we safely can this week, so we agreed to meet Ziggy the Dog and Audrey his handler today. 

Audrey was so kind and patient. It was easy to see why the CNIB chose her to be a host family for Ziggy and later an Ambassador in the Ambassador Program when they discovered that Ziggy had hip displasia that counted him out as an actual Guide Dog. 

Ollie was pretty happy to have the experience. Everyone asked a ton of questions and Audrey patiently answered them all. Since we come from a big family of animal lovers, we all enjoyed the experience.

Ziggy also brought Ollie a little Buddy Dog stuffy (and then promptly licked it causing Ollie to laugh) to remember the visit. 

We're all pretty excited about this opportunity for Ollie now and feeling more comfortable about the resources available to make Ollie's unsighted life easier going forward.

Ollie also got a package of rare Beyblades today, so was pretty happy overall despite having to say goodbye to the grandparents this afternoon.

Abby got a silly dinosaur night light that is apparently all the rage on TikTok and YouTube these days. 

Before they left, Gamma and Bumpa were full service guests, washing their bedding and remaking the bed before leaving. My Energizer Bunny mom had also vacuumed and washed all of the floors yesterday while I was at the hospital with Ollie and Mario was working.

So we are feeling loved and grateful for family, while knowing we have many many more in Chatham-Kent and in Western Canada who wish that they could come and help, too.

We have no more hospital visits this week, but will be at the hospital every day next week prepping for transplant.I find it so surreal that we are back and a week away from transplant. Please God, keep him in remission while we get to transplant.