Vision for the Holidays and 2022

[Photo description: Ollie is dressed in a hospital gown and snuggled by Dawn as both wear masks and sit in the waiting room at CHEO's Surgical Day Unit.]

Ollie had eye surgery on his right eye at CHEO on Wednesday, December 15th. He was a bit nervous the night before and the day of, but overall in good spirits and a total trooper as we got ready and set out for CHEO that morning. 

As usual he wasn't thrilled about the waiting, but at least he's no longer on steroids like he was during cancer treatment. Then he used to rage if he waited too long for anything, especially when he was NPO (Latin for not by mouth or no eating before surgery). 

[Photo description: Ollie waits in the waiting room of the Surgical Day Unit while playing with fidget toys to pass the time.]

He was getting a bit grumpy by noon when he was in the Surgical Day Unit ready to go and just waiting for them to take him in. After getting his vitals checked and having drops put in his eyes, the nurse gave him a new owl stuffie as a reward for his patience and cooperation. 

Finally, about 20 minutes later than planned, they came to get us. On our way into the prep/recovery area, Ollie had a little bout of nerves. It was weird this time because he's never been well/strong enough to walk in instead of being wheeled in on a gurney. He got angry at me when I made him go to the bathroom (I had to remind him that if he didn't he might have an accident when he was sedated), then burst into tears. Naturally this was just as the doctors had arrived and wanted to talk to me about the plan. 

[Photo description: Ollie wears a hospital gown, hospital pants and mask while sitting in the waiting room with his white cane and new owl stuffie.]

Thankfully they were preoccupied with finding the anesthesiologist who had been delayed in her earlier surgery, so they gave us a few moments to get ourselves together and ready. As he hugged me and calmed down, Ollie was very apologetic for his outburst. I reassured him that he didn't have to apologize for feeling overwhelmed, everything was going to be okay, and surgery was going to go well. After some big hugs, Ollie was ready to go. 

To my great surprise, despite COVID-19 risks they allowed me to walk him right into the operating room. This required me to be in full PPE, but made both of us feel more comfortable. It was an OR way in the back of CHEO and the largest I had ever been in with Ollie. The anesthesiologist knew Ollie from previous surgeries and procedures and was so kind as always. Ollie being the pro he is had asked to be sedated with the gas (what a bizarre world we've lived in that my 9 year old knows the menu of sedation options). The anesthesiologist was happy to give him what he asked for and even made the gas smell like strawberries, so he was out before he counted to 20. 

They invited me to kiss his head through my mask and promised they'd take great care of him. I thanked them profusely and walked out feeling confident that they would keep him safe. Honestly this was easiest of all of the many times I've had to leave him in the hands of the amazing team at CHEO because I knew it was going to work out.

[Photo description: Dawn and Ollie take a selfie in recovery after Ollie's surgery. Ollie is wearing an eye patch and lying in a hospital bed looking tired.]

Dr. Michael Dollin (retina specialist at the Eye Institute at The Ottawa Hospital) and Dr. Jeff Mah performed his victrectomy and lasering. Surgery took about two hours, and they came down to see me in the waiting room afterwards, smiling behind their masks (you can tell). They were happy to report that surgery went as well as they could have hoped and he was doing great in recovery. They confirmed that it hadn't been a retina detachment, but indeed a vitreous detachment (as suggested in the MRI report, but could have gone either way). They were able to repair the main blood vessel attached to his retina to restore proper blood flow, clear out that pool of blood that had been obstructing the bit of peripheral vision he had before, and had put a half gas bubble and a couple of stitches in his eye to hold everything in place. Both will dissolve as he heals.

[Photo description: Ollie feeds himself chicken noodle soup with rice at home.]

Unfortunately, they reported that he did have the beginnings of cataracts in his lens (very common in cancer patients after chemo), so they decided to remove it because it was not usable for him that way anyways and healthier to remove it.  The lens is used for focusing (just like the lens of a camera) and because his optic nerves are already severely damaged from the lymphoma, even with a healthy lens he wouldn't be able to see details right now. Our goal is to keep his eyes healthy so that as science evolves and it is possible to fix his optic nerves, he may have the possibility of more sight one day if he wants it. Dr. Dollin explained that it is already possible to have an intraocular lens (IOL) implanted and as science advances and his optic nerves can be fixed, they could add an IOL in future to enable him to see again. Overall I was so grateful that everything went well and glad I'd listened to my mother's intuition again and pushed for the surgery because it was successful.

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa with a table and a Beyblade stadium in front of him as he prepares to rip his Keyboard and Mario's hands can be seen reading to rip.]

Ollie was groggy in recovery, but felt okay otherwise. He was thirsty and eager to leave and go to McDonald's since he hadn't eaten all day. Given he was still tired, he rode out in a wheelchair and Mario picked us up. By the time we got home and he gobbled down McDonald's, he was almost back to normal. He is absolutely incredible.

When he discovered he was well enough to Beyblade, all was right in his world again! 😜  He honestly he's had no pain, just some minor itchiness as the sedation came out. He has two eye drops to take four times daily for the next few weeks until the eye is healed.

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa wearing a t-shirt shirt and pajama pants with Santa hats beside Hope.]

He slept well and got up early. About mid-morning we went to The Eye Institute for a post-operative check-up. Everything looked great, there was minimal bleeding from the surgery and Ollie felt good. He was able to see light already and the doctor expects it will get even better as it heals. He'll continue to be legally blind, but it looks likely that he'll recover some peripheral vision to see shapes and shadows. We were told to just have him wear the eye shield to sleep and by day only wear the patch if he felt he needed to. 

[Photo description: Dr. Mah examines Ollie's eye in a darkened room at The Eye Institute the day after surgery.]

The hardest part about his recovery was just keeping him calm and inactive. Thankfully he didn't need to have a full gas or oil bubble in his eye and have to stay face down for days, so that was a relief. We'd read about how this surgery could require complete bed rest and doing nothing for up to 4 weeks! Naturally Ollie  continued to be full of energy after surgery, so there was a lot of me reminding him not to bend, bounce, run, yell, or get angry. We needed to keep his pressure down to minimize any bleeding. The week went fairly well.

[Photo description: Ollie clowns around while leaving The Eye Institute, holding his cane like a sword and wearing a black eye patch like a pirate.]

Six days later we went back to The Eye Institute and Dr. Dollin said everything looked great, his pressure was normal and declared him already able to get back to "normal daily activities". I explained to Ollie that this still meant he needed to take it somewhat easy and there would be no skateboarding or sports yet. Dr. Dollin gave us instructions to taper his drops over the coming weeks and said he'd see us in 3-4 weeks when we could talk about a plan to do the second eye since the first went so well! 

Victory! I feel vindicated after being the pushy mama for the past 9 months since I noticed Ollie struggling in the darkness and insisted we needed to fix this if we could. I am grateful as always to Ollie's brilliant, yet humble doctors who treat me like a partner in his care and listen, even when they may at first think I am the overreacting mama. 

[Photo description: Ollie and Mario stand in front of the Christmas tree wearing matching work overalls, t-shirt shirts and tuques. They are smiling while Mario has his arm around Ollie.]

With COVID numbers exploding everywhere (it's estimated that numbers are at least three times higher than reported since so many people are isolating and there aren't enough COVID test), we're still trying to keep Ollie from getting it, even if Omicron seems to be a milder form. The thing is he only had one vaccine so far and we don't know what his short- or long-term effects might be if he got it as a stem cell transplant recipient. Sadly we know many families now who have gotten it here and in Toronto and are facing Christmas in isolation. We feel for these families and hope they'll weather it easily and quickly. A Christmas in isolation certainly is not the worst that can happen to a family, as we know too well. This is our third in isolation and we'd do as many as needed to keep our family safe and well. 

[Photo description: The package received from Santa through Canada Post elves. The envelope is shown at the top, Abby's printed letter on Christmas paper is on the left and Ollie's Braille letter is on the right.]

We'll end on a happy note because despite everything, we are here, happy, healthy and grateful. 

Ollie asked me to write down his Christmas Letter to Santa as he dictated it months ago. In it he asked for not only a toy for himself, but also that Santa bring something special for his sister Abby who had given him stem cells so he could live (my eyes were leaking as I wrote it). Before sending it off via Canada Post, I added a note that mommy had written what he dictated because he went blind during cancer treatment, but was doing great thanks to his stem cell transplant.

This week a package arrived from Santa addressed to Ollie & Abby. There was a lovely letter for Abby (even though she never wrote him one) that noted that she was a true hero because of  her "overachieving stem cells". It also mentioned Ollie's CNIB Buddy Dog Hope! Clearly the Canada Post volunteer elves did their research and knew our story! 

In addition and inspiring my tears again was a letter in Braille for Ollie. He was so excited to receive it written in a way that he could read it! Many thanks to Canada Post and their amazing volunteer elves helping Santa to reach ALL kids! 

To close, please minimize or cancel your gatherings to reduce your risk of COVID. I know it's tempting to see everyone you planned to, but we'll all pay for it in early January when stats are even worse. Even if we don't end up in lockdown again, we'll likely end up home with online learning again if we can't control cases over the next 10 days. Trust me, when you're together with your immediate family or just a few trusted loved ones, the holidays can still be beautiful. Wishing you all safe and happy holidays.  Praying that 2022 is a better year for everyone!

All I Want for Christmas is a COVID-19 Vaccine and a Victrectomy...

[Photo description: Ollie sits in his seat in the van resting his hand on Hope beside him when being picked up from school. The red seatbelt cover has a Medic Alert symbol on it and inside contains details on Ollie' s medical conditions in case of an accident.]

It's hard to believe that we are now less than two weeks away until Christmas again! Getting everyone here into the Christmas spirit has been a bit of an uphill battle again this year, but we've slowly gotten there. 

[Photo description: Ollie sits on the sofa beside a sleeping Hope while playing with a tactile Mini Mini-Golf game on the ottoman in front of him. 

As usual, Ollie was most like me, so was actually interested in celebrating the holidays and helped me to drag Abby and Mario into the spirit. We decorated the last weekend in November - earlier than we ever have. Mario thought I was crazy, but went along with it and tried to get Abby into it. She was reluctant. Digging deeper by talking about things revealed that everyone is now reminded somewhat about Ollie being diagnosed this time of year and having those first rounds of chemo in the weeks before, during and after the holidays. No matter how far away we get from active treatment, there are constant reminders of what we went through in those early days. 

[Photo description: Ollie wears an elf hat and Hope wears reindeer antlers while a roaring fire appears on the TV screen behind them.]

We talked about reclaiming Christmas and trying to think more about how grateful we are that we're all together and he's well instead. It hasn't been easy and there have been arguments and tears to get past this PTSD, but we're getting there. Abby and Ollie are now getting excited that Christmas is almost here as evidenced by them trying to guess what their gifts under the tree are. 

[Photo description: Ollie adds coloured bulbs to the ceramic Christmas tree that was my grandmother's as we decorated for the holidays.]

When he has his moments, Ollie has this incredible way of being able to talk about how he feels when he's feeling big angry or sad feelings and then to just recover quickly after hugging it out and appreciating the good moments that follow. Hope helps him a lot with this process. He calls her especially when he is sad after his anger has dissipated and he needs to move from sadness to acceptance to readiness to be happy again. He just hugs her and within moments he feels ready to face whatever the world throws at him next. As his mama my level of gratitude and love for this gorgeous and sweet-natured canine (who honestly seems to think she's human) knows no bounds. She spends most of her days very close to me at home. Mario laughs that I was the one who didn't want a dog before Ollie went blind and she is now super attached to me and I to her. 

[Photo description: Ollie hugs Hope while sitting on the back of the CNIB Christmas Float before the Carleton Place Christmas Parade on November 27, 2021.]

So it was our great pleasure to be invited to participate in the Carleton Place Christmas Parade with the CNIB Guide Dogs Program and show our gratitude for being part of something so life changing for us all. Ollie was so excited to be part of it and showed incredible patience while waiting for the parade to begin. Hope was so well-behaved despite all of the distractions, especially with so many other dogs around. 

We met several other volunteers who boarded Hope during her time at the CNIB Canine Training Centre. They were all overjoyed to see her and commented on how wonderful she looked, how well-behaved she was, and how well Ollie was doing with her. They are all incredibly warm and kind people who open their hearts and homes to help train guide dogs for blind and low vision people. It's incredibly hard for them to love these dogs and then let them go, but they do it selflessly to make lives like Ollie's better.

[Photo description: The CNIB float for the Carleton Place Christmas Parade is covered in Christmas lights and featured a blow up Snoopy riding a scooter and a decorated Christmas tree pulled by a yellow, white and black CNIB Guide Dogs van. Dawn, Ollie (in orange coat) and Hope are sitting on the float with the program lead of the CNIB Buddy Dog/Ambassador Dog Program, Buddy Dog duo Connor and June with mom Julie and other CNIB volunteers. CNIB Dog Trainers and Guide Dogs in training walked behind the float. Photo courtesy of Allison Noseworthy Warren]

The parade was incredibly well attended with approximately 5,000 people lining the streets. On the one hand this made me grateful to be on the float safely isolated from the masses, but on the other I felt so grateful for this little bit of normal for everyone. Pretty exciting for a 9 year old to be in a parade and we hope to be invited to do it again in future!

[Photo description: Ollie is assisted by Mario and Skateboarding Instructor Jordan as he does his first blind standing ride down a half pipe at The Yard.]

I haven't written that separate blog post about Ollie skateboarding yet, but he's making great progress and it's fun to watch him do something he loves so much and I love the respect that other kids at the skate park show him when they realize he's doing it blind.

[Photo description: Ollie and his skateboarding instructor Jordan are interviewed by Denise Fung of CBC Radio at The Yard.]

 CBC Radio taped an interview at The Yard with him and Jordan yesterday, so listen this week for him on Ottawa Morning! 

[Photo description: Oliver was Day 10 of Make-A-Wish Eastern Ontario's 24 Days of Wishes revealed on CTV News Ottawa on December 10]

Last spring, Make-A-Wish Eastern Ontario asked if Ollie would be willing to be part of the 24 Days of Wishes. Each day in December leading up to Christmas, a Wish kid is featured on Ottawa's CTV News to encourage people to donate to help make Wishes come true for other critically ill children in 2022. 

[Photo description: Oliver was Day 10 of Make-A-Wish Eastern Ontario's 24 Days of Wishes revealed on CTV News Ottawa on December 10]

Ollie's Door Day was December 10th and you can watch the CTV News segment on him here. We remain so thankful for the Wish that he was granted in March 2021 to have an epic playroom and he has literally used it EVERY day since then. It really is the Wish that keeps on giving and he helped the sponsor of his Wish, eQ Homes to make a video to encourage others to help them to Wish It Forward to help another deserving kid in 2022. They just posted today that they met their $10,000 goal to make this happen, so we continue to be grateful to eQ Homes and their supporters who have helped to inspire kids like Ollie with critical illnesses to keep going through all of the hard stuff to get their Wishes.

[Photo description: Ollie gets his first COVID-19 vaccine from a CHEO nurse while stuffie Llama Llama Blue Pajamas is hugged for courage. This red and white shirt reads, " Be a changeable - #sgeochangemaker - St. George Catholic School"] 

On November 28, 2021, Ollie was psyched to finally get his first COVID-19 vaccine at CHEO! Honestly when CHEO called me to schedule it I was teary and when he got it I breathed a deep breath of relief. It's not enough yet and he's scheduled to get his second in January and will get a third after that given his transplant makes him higher risk for COVID, but it is an incredible first step towards all of us feeling less anxiety about him being out in public, including school. Ollie felt no pain (my arm after my booster last week hurt for 4 days, but he says he felt nothing!) and aside from being a bit more tired for 24 hours and asking to go to bed early, he had no side effects. 

I have tried to explain to the naysayers online who cry that parents are "torturing" their children by vaccinating them with an "untested" vaccine that they have no idea what really torturing your child is like. That putting chemo, radiation and truly untested in children drugs into their little bodies to save their lives is torture for them and for you as the parent. And all are in the interest of saving their lives. Just like this COVID vaccine is for Ollie. That both of my very bright and aware children BEGGED to get this vaccine in the interest of protecting each other and trying to live a more normal, less scary life. That if my then 12 year old daughter could legally consent (and she was physically and mentally assessed to ensure that she was okay to consent) to give her stem cells to save her brother's life, she and others like her are very capable of deciding to get a vaccine.  

A few of Ollie's friends who were nervous about the vaccine or scared of needles told us that despite this they were going to get the vaccine anyways because they could be brave like Ollie. And then they sent us messages celebrating that they had done it! Again and again people help us and amaze us with their kindness. To-date in Ottawa 50% of eligible kids have been vaccinated in the first three weeks of vaccination clinics and we are thrilled to live in this community where people take care of each other. 

[Photo description: Ollie sits in an pathology exam chair in an exam room at the Eye Centre at The Ottawa Hospital - Riverside Campus waiting to be examined by Dr. Dollin]

On December 1st, Ollie had another appointment with his retina specialist, Dr. Dollin at The Ottawa Hospital at the Riverside Campus Eye Centre. First time ever for us at Riverside! Have to say, that we preferred it! Smaller hospital and less people at the clinic there as well as more modern facilities! Dr. Dollin verified that the pressure in his eyes is manageable with drops, but that ultimately we'd likely eventually have to do at least the lasering of his eyes to correct the pressure issues and stop unwanted blood vessels from growing and admitted that waiting to see if the blood from his vitreous detachment would dissipate on its own did not work. So the only way to clear out the blood pool and try to recover any of Ollie's peripheral vision in his right eye was to do the vitrectomy surgery. At my encouragement he and Dr. O'Connor at CHEO confirmed later that day that Ollie would have the surgery and to my surprise scheduled him for December 15th (tomorrow). 

He's actually having both surgeries (vitrectomy and lasering) on the right eye. It's just day surgery with the prep and recovery after taking longer than the 1 hour 45 minute surgery itself. He'll be sedated and they have promised they'll manage any pain he might have, but said generally there is more discomfort like a scratchy feeling than pain. Recovery is about 2 weeks, so it's good that we'd just planned a quiet Christmas with just us this year. Ollie is upbeat about the surgery and hopeful that it will allow him to recover a bit more vision. He knows better than anyone that there are no guarantees when it comes to medical procedures and the pursuit of wellness, but despite everything remains his hopeful, positive self and believes it will be worth it. We all feel confident, but would totally appreciate your prayers anyways that all goes well and is easy for Ollie. I'll try to at least write a short update when I can.

In the meantime, we hope that you are having a wonderful holiday season despite COVID-19 and the cases rising again. We all know too well now that while there is nothing like being together in person, there are many safe ways to stay connected to those we love whether near or far. Please get your COVID-19 booster when you are eligible to keep yourself as safe as possible and to help us to keep Ollie and other vulnerable people like him safer.