Home for our hero

HOME. A great four letter word. One of the best ones. Second only to LOVE. 

After a whirlwind of 47 days at CHEO where he had a relapse, got lymphoma in his brain, went blind, had incredible pain, likely had seizures, was in ICU for over a week, had two brutal rounds of chemo and a new PICC line inserted. Then only 36 hours at home when suddenly he was back to CHEO for 16 days to fight 3 infections, shed most of his skin from chemo, painful bed sores, major bruising all over his legs, arms and torso, removal of his new PICC due to infection and implantation of his broviac in his chest. He's so weak, physio is necessary to rebuild his muscle.

Now home for a mere 24 hours before heading to Toronto tomorrow for preparations for his radiation and stem cell transplant. Ollie and I will be in Toronto for 3 months. Abby and Mario will be with us at least a month until transplant and possibly longer depending on COVID-19, work and school.

On the one hand this seems incredibly unfair that we get one day at home together after the last two hellish months, but on.the other, home is literally where the heart is and mine is with my husband and my children no matter where we are. I've always said that you can make a home anywhere. I have my parents to thank for this. Although they were divorced when I was young and we moved a lot, I got used to making home wherever I was. I found comfort in my loved ones being around me whether it was at my mom's, my dad's or my grandparents' house. It was never about the physical place. Always about who I was with. 

Interestingly enough, Abby wrote a beautiful piece recently for a writing competition about what home means and that's exactly what she said, too. She said our house felt quiet and empty without Ollie and I, and that home was wherever we were all together, even if it was in a hospital room. I'm trying to get her to post the piece to this blog as it was beautiful.

So as we prepare to leave our home for months for a short term condo rental in Toronto to get a lifesaving transplant where my daughter will save my son, I don't give a fig where we will be physically as long as we're all together as much as we can be. 

So in this time of social distancing or isolation when people are feeling caged, restless, bored, confined, stressed, maybe even agitated by your loved ones, think about how much we are grateful for this or any time together. Don't take this time for granted. Stay home and love each other. Enjoy time together. Talk to each other. Be present. Practice gratitude. This time is surreal, but so much more precious than you can imagine. 

I leave Ottawa sad that I won't see any of you for months, scared of what is coming next, but grateful that we are together and will get Ollie well so we can come home whole again. Wishing you all well and sending you all love.