Intuition, Fever and Fear

This is post number two because today's events warranted their own post.

Last night everything was fine. Ollie went to bed snuggling with me in his new twin over double bunk bed. He seemed warm to me, but did not have a fever. As I lay with him and he fell asleep he was restless and very sweaty. I got up and prepared Abby's lunch and did a few things, going back to check on him a few times. I told Mario I was going to bed and felt I should sleep with him as I fear fever in the night right now and had a sense something was off. 

Fever requires immediately going to CHEO Emergency because his immune system is shot since the chemo and he is now what they call neutropenic. This means that his white blood cells (WBC on a blood test) are very low and any illness is dangerous because the body has no ability to fight them off. 

So my mother's intuition told me to sleep with him and several times in the night I woke to a very sweaty kid and took his temperature. Each time it was normal, but I knew something was not right. When we woke about 7:30 to get ready to go to CHEO for his usual Friday PICC dressing change, he felt warm, so I took it again and it was a bit high. I waited a few minutes until he was up and had cooled down from the warm covers and took it again. Higher again this time and definitely a fever. So plans changed rapidly. I called our Oncology Coordinator to let her know and she told me to come to Emerg and she'd alert them.

I sent Abby and Mario off to their regular days, promising to let them know any news. Ollie was otherwise well and cooperated to get to CHEO, walking himself into Emerg. Once there we were triaged immediately and shown into an isolation room to minimize our exposure to anything else. That's the fastest we have ever been triaged at CHEO. At least cancer patients get VIP emergency treatment. LOL

We were quickly visited by nurses and a doctor who checked him all over for any sources of infection (nothing obvious). Everyone was gowned and masked as a precaution. Bloodwork was drawn rapidly, a urine sample taken, a team came down to change his PICC dressing, a second doctor from oncology arrived to do more checks. IV's of antibiotics and fluids were started. 

The doctor told me he'd have to be admitted for 48 hours for meds and observation. Admissions arrived and had me sign forms to admit him (again so glad to be overinsured and always paid for the full hospital coverage).

I guess I'm getting used to all of this as I found it all comforting because it reminded me we were in the best place for him to be safe, whereas weeks ago it would have elevated my stress levels. 

What did stress me out was having to tell him we'd have to be admitted again. To say he took it badly is an understatement. Sadness, anger and complete defiance ensued. There was yelling, wall punching and absolute insistence that he was going home because round 2 of chemo wasn't starting until December 30. Despite everything I could not calm him by myself and it took me, two nurses and a child life specialist to sooth him and bring him down to a manageable level. 

One of the ways they did this was by talking about what made him angry and suggesting we make a punching pillow and draw a target and write those words on it. 

Luckily, one of the nurses who came by was also our POGO Interlink Nurse, Graham who had stopped by our place on Wednesday to help with paperwork and had bonded with Ollie over Beyblades. Graham had also gone into the school earlier this week to teach his and Abby's classes about lymphoma, so we recognize that he has done a lot for our family this week. So Graham also engaged Ollie in a discussion about Beyblades, taking his mind off the fact that he was being admitted. 

The thing about Ollie is he is passionate like Daddy, but pragmatic like Mommy. So after the room had cleared, he and I had a good chat about how powerful his brain is and if we prepare for the worst and hope for the best things generally turn out fine and we aren't disappointed constantly. He asked me what the worst was and I said we'd be in hospital a few days, but maybe less and we could still hopefully make it home for Christmas. Then my bright, sweet pragmatic boy said he had done eleven days already and two days wasn't bad and we could do it. I pray that it's only two days and I don't have to disappoint him and ruin the lesson.

So we finally got a bed on 4 North after lunch and with a new positive attitude, we arrived in our new room. To his delight it's a private room (we were alone in a double last time) and has extra amenities like our own mini-fridge (please send wine and cheese...LOL), a PS4 and TV for it in the room (we borrowed a communal one from the playroom last time, but apparently these were donated for isolation rooms) and the crowning glory...his own tub (he had to have a bath down the hall last time and found that unacceptable...imagine having a bathroom in your room with no bathtub!)! He exclaimed that this really was at last more like a hotel.

No sooner had we settled in then a special visitor arrived to bring some presents and spread some Christmas cheer. See below...

Got to meet Brady from the Ottawa Senators who was even a good sport when he learned the Sens are Ollie's number 2 team and the Leafs are his number 1 like Daddy. 

Now Ollie is napping and I am drinking a coffee from Keurig pods that some Christmas angel left in the kitchenette for everyone and thanking God for them and the fact that there is even still some sugar and cream that I left behind when we left here not quite two weeks ago.

None of this is what we planned, but as a strategic planner, I know the importance of an "evergreen" plan that is constantly being adapted to accommodate changes and also of always having a Plan B and sometimes even a Plan C. So we'll hunker down and watch our new subscription to Disney+ this weekend and pray that by Monday we are home and cosy again. 

Sending you all love and prayers for a lovely weekend before Christmas. Please be safe, be good to each other and remember that the perfect outfits, food, gifts and decor don't matter this or any Christmas. It's being wherever you are with people you love and enjoying time together.