There are many kinds of love. The first love one has for one's parents or whoever nurtured you from birth. Some are lucky enough to have the love of siblings. Others simply the love of extended family. Love for friends, especially those who share your history and/or hard times. Romantic love for your partner made even bigger if you become parents together. Love for your children, whether born to you or gifted another way.
But over the past 1337 days since my child was diagnosed with a critical illness that left me contemplating a possible life without him and ultimately getting to keep him, I have come to understand that there is also a special love that you have for the medical team that saves your child.
And so I am writing this love letter to my son's medical teams at Sick Kids Hospital and CHEO on this, Ollie's third re-birthday and our daughter Abby's 3rd Hero Day. Three years ago when then 8 year old Ollie (who had gone blind during his first of two relapses of his Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma ALK+) finally got his sister's half match stem cells at Sick Kids Hospital after a very intense and bumpy cancer journey, we breathed a sigh of relief, but knew that the hard work of recovery and survival was just beginning and there were no guarantees that it would work.
[Photo Description: a split screen image of a video chat that we had with Abby while the transplant was started. Given out was early pandemic she was not allowed to be there in person even though she was the donor, so this is how we made her part of the momentous occasion. The top image shows Abby smiling as we show her the bottom image, which is the bag of her incredible stem cells hung with other bags of fluid and medication to be administered.]
To recap, it was just months after the COVID-19 pandemic had started. We'd arrived at Sick Kids from CHEO the first time for stem cell transplant in the second week of the very first lockdown after 6 intense months of cancer and relapse treatment at CHEO. Because of the pandemic, planes were being grounded, so his then 11 year old sister suddenly became his donor. Her cells were harvested at Sick Kids on March 31, 2020 and just 8 days later he relapsed in his central nervous system a second time. Unfortunately this was the week before he was supposed to start his total body radiation. We stayed in Toronto for 5 weeks after this to try a cancer inhibitor drug to no avail.
[Photo Description: Abby watches as her stem cells collect in a bag hung on the Apheresis machine in the Dialysis Unit at Sick Kids Hospital on March 31st, 2020. The lines running her blood through the machine to strip out her stem cells can be seen beside her.]
After consulting with our CHEO Oncology team we opted to go back to Ottawa to try brain and spine radiation (thank you to the Ottawa Cancer Centre Radiology team at the Ottawa Hospital) combined with a brand new TKI obtained under compassionate grounds.
This love letter is for each and every single person in hospital who helped my son to survive. No contribution was too small and we are grateful for all of them including, but not limited to (in completely random order):
- The ENT clinic at CHEO who helped us to get to the bottom of the bump on his neck and get to diagnosis in 28 days after trying to figure out with our pediatrician for 4 months what it really was;
- Our incredible team of Oncologists and transplant doctors, lead by Dr. Abbott, Dr. Alexander and Dr. Ali;
- The people who cleaned his rooms and kept them bacteria free (especially when he had no immune system after transplant and during the pandemic);
- Health care aids who transported him safely to so many operating rooms, scans and tests, all while keeping him and mom calm and often while telling us great stories that distracted us during stressful times;
[Photo Description: The 4 North Oncology Team and fellow patients at CHEO cheer and celebrate as Ollie rings the last planned admission gong (after his first central nervous system relapse during front line treatment) with Mom and Dad supporting him as he stands without his wheelchair to do so.]- The incredible nursing staff in the MDU (especially our nurse case manager, post bone marrow transplant nurse, POGO Interlink nurse, and Nurse Practitioner), 4 North, Surgical Day Unit and PICU at CHEO and the Sears Clinic and 8th Floor, especially BMT Unit at Sick Kids;
[Photo Description: Nursing staff in the Sick Kids BMT Unit give Ollie a send off with cheers, music and pom poms while daddy pushes him in the wheelchair on +38 discharge day in August 2020.]- Lab technicians, pathologists and researchers who did the many tests to arrive at a rare diagnosis, identify infections, and to help us monitor too many risks to count over the past three and a half years;
- Imaging technicians and radiologists, often who dealt with our urgencies and were called in the middle of the night to do scans when he was relapsing or had to deal with our intense "scanxiety";
[Photo Description: Ollie sits with his leg in a bone density scanner at CHEO while a technician sits at the computer beside him.]- The CHEO Genetics team and those at PROFYLE for helping us to identify his specific mutation that lead to a targeted therapy that was obtained under compassionate grounds, and got him back into remission and on to transplant after his second relapse when it looked doubtful that anything would;
- Pharmacists who helped us to find the right cocktail for every situation, creative ways to get adult meds down his hesitant throat, and ensured that despite it all happening during a global pandemic across two cities, we never had to worry that the lifesaving drugs wouldn't be available to us;
- Palliative care at both hospitals and the PICU team at CHEO who taught us that they do so much more than pain management and calling them in does not mean end of life;
[Photo Description: Ollie sits in his wheelchair at CHEO while recovering from his first relapse and is surrounded by therapeutic clowns, who were causing mischief and giving out lollipops.]- Psycho-social teams including child life specialists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapeutic clowns, music therapists, art therapists, volunteers, etc. You brought fun and compassion to a very scary situation for us on a daily basis and I am certain we could not have walked away with any good memories of this period without you;
- The radiation teams at the Ottawa Hospital and Princess Margaret Hospital who worked together flawlessly to calibrate both brain and spine radiation and total body radiation within mere weeks of each other and made something so very scary almost easy for us;
[Photo Description: Princess Margaret Hospital radiation team prepares Ollie for total body radiation, sticking a device to his back to measure the exact amount of radiation being delivered.]- Other "ologists" and specialists that treated his specific relapses and side effects including neurologists, endocrinologists, cardiologists, ophthalmologists, occupational therapists, physiotherapists, respiratory therapists, bone specialists, auditory specialists, retina specialist, dental clinic, etc.
[Photo Description: Ollie prepares to have a pulmonary function test in February 2021 at CHEO. The respiratory therapist in PPE with his back to the camera is a childhood cancer survivor himself.]- ER staff at both hospitals - when you are a cancer family you are bound to spend a lot of time in emergency and we are grateful for your efforts to minimize our wait to be unexpectedly admitted when needed;
- The Vein Access Teams (VAT) in both hospitals who quickly became among the most important people on our team;
- All others in senior leadership, administration and services - e.g. scheduling, admitting, cafeteria, laundry, maintenance, technology, parking, HR, finance, fundraising, communications, etc. I am certain you rarely get thanked by families, but all of you keep the hospital running seamlessly and we know during the pandemic this took extraordinary effort;
- The Apheresis/Dialysis Unit for helping us so much on stem cell collection day and showing us what a fun place Sick Kids could be with your Tick Tock Dancing to entertain your young dialysis patients;
- Food services and restaurant/cafe staff who stayed open and served us during the early days of COVID despite the fear and unknowns;
- Anyone and everyone else I have forgotten to mention by clinic unit or specialty here. It literally took an army and my poor brain is still reeling at the magnitude of what you all did for us.
Gratefully we remember all of you and your contributions on this day and every time we look at Ollie, as he is living proof that an army working together with science and hope makes miracles together. We will never be able to adequately thank you all for saving his life, so we will keep doing whatever we can to help you to at least save others, too, through our advocacy and fundraising efforts. Know that we will never forget the thousands of kindnesses that you sent our way.
With love and gratitude always,
The Acosta-Pickering Family:
Dawn, Mario, Abby and Ollie
P.S. - Please share this with any who may have helped us at all four hospitals or who just need to be reminded of how important their work really is today and everyday.